As you know I am right in the middle of several back-to-back conferences, outreaches, and trainings. Two weeks ago I was in Flat Rock, North Carolina at YWAM's North American Leader's Conference. I was incredibly blessed to be able to catch up with old friends from YWAM bases all over the US and Canada, but also to make new friends and connections. There were also two very renowned speakers that God used to speak to me in tremendous ways. I will get to that in a bit. As I went to the conference to help represent RescueNet, it was awesome just to be able to make connections with bases that have a heart for disaster relief and being God's hands and feet to the world in that arena. I was also able to go to a workshop regarding student mobilization and it was very insightful in regards to mobilizing college students into both short and long-term missions.
But I would like to share briefly about some of the things God put on my heart during the conference. One of the speakers talked about the macro aspects of missions and the other talked about the micro aspects. We broached subjects about our nation and our current economic and political standings and how that affects people all over the world hearing about Christ; but we also talked about the individual's story and the power of simply listening and hearing parts of people's lives they may have never shared before.
Because this conference was focused on leadership, I was also challenged in many areas of my own heart in that regard. I was convicted deeply about the fact that I am leading people and yet there are several areas of my heart and life that I am walking in blatant sin. Several times during the sessions, it took everything within me to sit in my seat and not run out to have a good cry in the bathroom. One night specifically I felt like God was speaking to my heart and saying, "It's time to stop running now, you need to face these things and deal with them. But don't worry, I am right here." So it was there that He began another painful and stretching work in me that still stings a little because I am taking baby steps as to not be overwhelmed. I could share for hours about this, but I will refrain as I have much more to share on other things!
Last week, Paula (a fellow staffer here) and myself took a group of 12-17 year olds to San Francisco on a week outreach. This is the second year this particular church has sent their youth with us to do this and so it was a joy to re-connect with students and leaders that came last year. Last year we only had five students, and this year we had 11, so that in itself was exciting. Lucky for us, YWAM San Francisco is located in a pretty rough part of the city which is great for ministry! It also immediately challenges the students to step outside of their comfort zone.
We focused on homeless and human trafficking ministry doing teachings and discussions about each and then getting out into the city to do some hands on things. The first evening upon their arrival I informed the students that we would be sleeping in our same clothes we had on, not brushing teeth, washing our face, or taking showers until the evening of the next day. We split into smaller groups and headed out into the city with yesterdays clothes on our back and no lunch. Some groups chose to stand in a food line with the homeless and get lunch that way, others chose to go hungry. Our little "homeless for a day" helped them spend a few short hours walking in the shoes of a homeless person, gaining a small perspective on what it's like for them to live this way day in and day out. We also handed out hot chocolate one evening, simply having conversations with the homeless and asking them if they needed prayer for anything. As the base sits in an area where many places for human trafficking sit fronting as "massage" parlors, we were able to go on a prayer walk around to each location and pray right out front. It was powerful but incredibly heavy. I could go on, but again we would be here all day. God's goodness came and Paula and I saw God move in all 11 of their hearts. They learned new things, were stretched beyond what they knew to be comfortable, and walked away with a deeper hunger for God which of course always results in a deeper love for people. Of course it was nothing Paula and I did, we were just along for the ride, learning new things ourselves and blown away by a God that has something so special and unique for each and every one of us.
This outreach was so stretching for me because it had been planned months ago and planned to go very differently. But due to things changing at the beginning of this year, I was left thinking that I was not capable to lead this team alone. So luckily Paula volunteered herself, and I dove in, planning to the best of my ability. Of course, I should know by now not to expect anything less from God, but I was being my usual self, very untrusting in my Creator. He of course blew me away and it went better than anything I could have ever planned, simply because I was out of the way. I was desperate for Him to show up, and because I was desperate He did. My ego, plans, and controlling ways were not in the way, because I was desperate. I kind of picture Him sometimes with me in His lap, chuckling in my ear. I think sometimes I hear Him saying, "Oh daughter, if you would just let me do it more often, your life would be so much more exciting, adventuresome, passionate, and life changing than anything you have planned for yourself." All I know is He's right. 
I know many of you were lifting up this outreach in prayer, so THANK YOU! Your prayers literally made all the difference in the world!As you know, I am off to Las Vegas on Friday to meet up with all of the North American RescueNet members. We will be bonding, learning, praying, and planning together for all things RescueNet. I will write an update on that when I get home!
As I mentioned in my last blog, I am still needing to raise some finances for my EMT school. But the exciting news is that since my last update my Guatemala trip is completely paid for, and my EMT school is half paid for! So again you guys, thanks so much for those of you that gave. I hope your hearts feel tied to mine as I go do these things because I feel tied to you, you really are an incredible support team and I am so blessed by you!
Like I said, I still need $1550 to finish paying for my EMT school, would you pray about helping me financially for this? If so you can do the following:
(All donations are tax deductible)
Online:
1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html
2. Click on the "Donate Now" button
3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & what you would like your donation to go towards (ie. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)
Check:
1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach
2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction
3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" and the area you want your money designated (is. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)
4. Mail your check to:
YWAM Pismo Beach
791 Price St. #119
Pismo Beach, CA. 93449
I wanted to finish out by sharing about something else God has been really stretching me in, forgiveness. In the past few months I have held onto a lot of anger and bitterness because of the things that happened earlier this year. It was in a time of reflection I felt God was bringing up several circumstances that have happened over the past couple of years that I have harbored these same feelings over people. That day my heart was incredibly heavy and I felt like I needed to go and ask a few people for forgiveness. Needless to say, after a little yelling and crying to God, I found myself doing just that, asking for forgiveness. Afterwards I think I was expecting some magical moment to occur where the whole world became right and all things were mended, but of course let's be realistic, my life is not a movie. I drove away disappointed and so I asked God what the purpose of all that was. I felt like He said it was one, for me to lay my unceasing pride to death once again, two, for me to release the other person from being the thing that consumed my thoughts, and three, to close up the foothold I had given the enemy into my life. Can I tell you something a little magical, sshh, it's a secret. Everyday since then, I have felt more free. It's a process, I have realized. Sometimes I have to tell God I need help laying down my anger again, but He always is there for me. I believe I can't walk in the fullness of what He has for me if I am bound in chains of un-forgievness. It's like trying to run through quicksand.
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