Refining Fire

Hello from beautiful California,

After my Christmas break in Colorado and Minnesota I am finally back home. It was such a blessing to be able to see a few of you but I also find myself wishing that I could have seen many more. Drew, my brother, and I made the drive from Colorado to California on the 2nd and 3rd and although it was slushy in areas, the drive was a success. Thanks for your many prayers for safety over us in those few days!

It has been awhile since I have shared some things on my heart with all of you and as my heart is heavy this morning, I thought now was as good as ever.

It seems that the New Year is always paired with hopes for new and exciting things to come and resolutions to do things better. But as I look back on years past I see how that excitement begins to fade come February and those resolutions are forgotten. I know that goals are often made to lose weight, be a better person, pay off debt, etc. but what about those unspoken desires and dreams that we may never vocalize. I think of the hidden things that I usually don't say, things like hope that God would refine my character, that I would spend more time seeking His face, that I would love my family and friends less selfishly and with more abandon, and that I would learn what it would mean to be a true servant of a God that chooses to give me life day after day.

When we make these types of resolutions in our hearts I think the enemy goes to work to dash our hopes rather quickly. He knows that God desperately wants to be refining us more and more every day, making us more into His likeness. The enemy knows that the more we become like Christ, the harder he has to fight to destroy us.

I have been carrying a feeling of heaviness lately, that feeling that I am all alone and isolated. I know that these feelings don't come from the God who loves me with abandonment. They come from another source all together, one that longs to destroy my life. It seems like it's in these moments that I have lost all my energy to stand strong and fight. I would rather curl up in defeat than surround myself with the Word and prayer. But I know that is not what God is calling me to, He has equipped me with the armor, He has given me authority over evil, and when I am too tired to fight, He is fighting on my behalf. Recently I saw the third Chronicles of Narnia movie. At the end Lucy gives Aslan a huge embrace and she learns that although she won't return to Narnia, that Aslan is known by another name in her world. The reason she came to Narnia in the first place was so that she would "know" Him. I love this picture, to not just know about God but to "know" God deeply.

I think that when we pick ourselves up from whatever struggle we are facing and stand firm against the enemy, God simply takes care of us, because He has already conquered death. I think after each "battle" we walk through, big or small, we learn what it means to "know" God more intimately. He will replace our sorrows with joy and our mourning with gladness, I know this because He promised.

If I look at the New Year with this in mind, I know that through Him all things are possible.