The Time Has Come

The time has finally come. On Monday I am boarding a train to San Francisco to embark on something I have always wanted to do but never thought would would happen. I am starting my EMT school and am excited and scared all at once. Please be keeping me in your prayers over the coming weeks.

The past three weeks have honestly been a nightmare, you know that feeling that you get when you can't reach the surface? Drowning, that's exactly what I feel like. I am overwhelmed with the prospect of this school, with my financial situation, and with my life in general. Thank goodness for family that is so loving and supportive, because without them, this would probably be the 1000th time I would have thrown in the towel and called it quits.

But then I am reminded that I don't have to stay in this place, that despair is a choice. I am in love with someone who is far greater at problem solving, mending hearts, restoring broken things, and providing than I ever could be. I can't believe someone loves me enough to wait patiently while I remember that He is the only one that could ever handle any of this anyways.

I have struggled with the fine line of brokenness. On one hand I think it's healthy to be broken because it's in my weakness that His strength comes, but on the other hand, wallowing in anything is not healthy. And so I walk the tight rope of the two, being comfortable walking through pain, but knowing when it's time to rejoice.

I love how people throughout the scripture would build an alter, not only was it a place of sacrifice to God but it was also a place of putting to death sin and shame and moving forward. I'm tired of looking back, so here in your presence I am building an alter. Moving forward and being free of the past.