Trusting in Him

    Trust. Something much easier said than done. It has donned on me recently that trust is something rather intimate, it means that you are willing to give others the control to build you up or tear you down. It means that you are willing to abide in that person, willing to follow them in decision making, and put faith in them. 

    When I really think through this I realize that I do not easily trust, I am afraid to let the walls fall down, I am afraid to get hurt. God has been challenging me a lot in this area, He is my Creator, He knows my deepest most intimate thoughts and desires, He knows my triumphs and failures, my fears, my hurts, and yet He is the one I so often am most afraid to trust. I am afraid to trust the Creator of the universe, that has named the stars in the sky, and knows the number of hairs on my head, He who spoke the very world into creation. In the grand scheme of it all I am truly nothing and He is truly everything, and yet He calls me His beloved, I am His treasured one. So why is it so hard for me to hand over my trust to the one who spoke me into existence and has my very best interest in mind? 

   I do know one thing. The times that I have been able to lay down everything, giving all things back to God that rightly belong to Him anyway, I am set free in a way that is hard to comprehend or describe. I think we, as Americans, often feel we are entitled to so much. I often catch myself complaining about things that take too long, or whining because I can't afford that new thing that I want but don't actually need. But when I really think about it, what is mine? Nothing is truly mine, not my money, not my job, not my house or car, or even my own life. All those things have been given to me by God and He can give me more or take it all away in the blink of an eye. But here is the key, God is good, He is so deeply in love with us, and has only our best interest in mind. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

   God yearns for us to go to Him in all circumstances large or small. He wants to show us that He truly is our Jehovah Jireh, our provider. My current living circumstances are a testimony to His provision. I rely on Him to provide my finances through amazing people like yourselves. But I am daily learning to trust even still, because so often I want control, so often I strive to have control over my relationships, my work, my things. When really, none of those things are mine anyway, He has given them to me to steward and ultimately to bring honor to Him. 

   All this to say, Jesus wants us to lean hard on Him, He wants us to desire His provision in every circumstance, He wants to give us His best (which believe me, is much better than anything I could ever imagine)!