Worldliness

I was able to go to the YWAM North American Leadership Conference this past week in Estes Park, Colorado. I was able to see some of you in my brief stop at church which was really nice for me, it was a much needed time to be able to see some old friends! But anyways this conference is for all of the YWAM leaders in North America, there were many times of worship and speakers that really were imparting the vision that God has in the coming years for YWAM. It was very exciting and also good for me to be able to experience this organization on a larger scale. I know that often I forget about what the bases around the world are doing, and that we really are a part of one huge team. I want to share a little about what I felt the Lord speak to me, these were things that were hard for me to swallow which always is an indicator that I need to work on them in my life! My hopes is that by sharing this realization that it would be an encouragement to you, I hope these posts never come across preachy, because my last intention is to preach at you. They are more intended to share, honestly, with you what is happening in my own heart, and if that encourages even one of you, well then I would say God is good!

Jim Stier, the founder of YWAM Brazil, spoke over several of the sessions and was really challenging us in how we often are so caught up in the world that we lose sight of Jesus. This has always been hard for me, maybe it's because I'm young, because we do live in the world and because I believe that God created this world for us to enjoy. This line is often blurry in my path through life, and not in the obvious ways but in those subtle things. For example, in Galations 5:19-21 it says, "19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." Now of course some of these things are pretty straightforward but the things that got to me were jealousy, hatred, and discord. If I think through this I can honestly say that I do this daily sometimes without even thinking. Just today, I was driving and this old man cut me off, and my immediate thought was "how dare he." Did you know that the definition of discord is a disagreement among people? WOW, how many times in one day do I disagree with someone, probably too many to count! Moving on, next on the list is selfish ambition. Well I fail totally here, sometimes I pout because no said "good job on that project" or "thanks;" how often do I catch myself judging someone thinking, "if only I could take over that task, I could do it so much better." And then there's idolatry. That word just sounds ugly to me but when I think about it I often put things in front of God. Idol is defined as a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. Well I greatly admire my job and I love my family and friends a lot, and I find I often put them before God.

Then this verse goes on to say that "those who live like this will surely not inherit the Kingdom of God." Here's what I have been realizing. Often I take statements like this lightly, now don't get me wrong, God's grace is an incredible and truly indescribable thing. I do not want to down play that in any way, but often I use that as my easy way out. I never weigh the seriousness of the consequence, I never stop to think how truly horrible it would be to stand at the gates of Heaven and have Jesus tell me that I missed the point. Can you imagine? You missed it, Jacque.

Of course we are not perfect and can never even come close to being perfect, and that's why grace is so important. But God calls us to "live holy and blameless lives," now He knows we cannot attain this, but He calls us to try.

This week I have been trying to take a step back and evaluate my attitude moment by moment, and the conclusion that I have come to is that I suck! But you know what we gain when we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us? We gain love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That is good news! And you know what, when we begin to taste these things again, our actions begin to be an outpouring of our hearts.

If you are like me, I can say that I forgot what it meant to be living the fruits of the Spirit. It took me hitting my knees and giving God my idols and my jealousy and my selfish ambition so that the Holy Spirit could have room in my heart again. I realized that I could never love Him and love others fully when I was letting those things take root in my heart, so here I am taking it moment by moment knowing that I will fail, but God loves me incredibly regardless. He is there to pick me up, dust me off, hold my hand, and say "Let's try again Jacque."

I know this next thing is kind of an akward switch of gears but I have a need that I would like to share with you guys and I'm sure you don't want a barrage of emails from me! As you well know I live on monthly support, much of which comes from you guys. It is so awesome to see how God continues to use you guys in this partnership, I am blessed beyond words and am so grateful for you.

I recently had several supporters let me know that they would no longer be able to support me due to some financial difficulties, so I wanted to present this to you guys and ask if you would prayerfully consider supporting me on a month to month basis. I am in need of finding one or several people who would be able to fill that $125 amount per month. If this is something that you would be interested in feel free to email me at Jacque17lyn@aol.com. Thanks so much you guys, I will keep you updated on God's provision in this area!