tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810426977092107262024-02-19T04:40:05.986-08:00Therefore Go...and make disciples of all Nations...Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-84845132616570119172012-08-08T08:39:00.001-07:002012-08-08T08:39:36.548-07:00Transitions.....Not Always a Walk in the ParkI believe we are called to missions, whether that means we work a 9 to 5 desk job or whether we are living in a straw hut in Africa; we are called. Missions often gets put into a box, in which people think it equals giving up your house and your "life" and moving overseas and learning a new language and set of cultural living standards. But I think think that when Christ called us to, "go and make disciples of all nations," He didn't exclude the nation that we are from. We are called to be missional in all aspects of our life, wherever He has called us to be. And let me tell you that is challenging.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Being on both sides of the spectrum now, I am beginning to see some differences. When you are supported and paid to do ministry full time, it's easy to take things for granted. Now that I am facing a 40 hour work week, spending my nights and weekends studying for class, and volunteering as an EMT every other moment in between, it's easy to ask God to take a backseat. Especially when your life used to look like weekly times of worship and intercession, bonding as a community of believers, helping a YWAM base administratively, and planning and leading outreaches full time. All that to say, it's been a bit of a slap in the face as far as transition goes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know all things are in seasons, and this season won't last forever, but God has been challenging me to live life in the moment and not five years down the road. Because my days are numbered and I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I can choose to be His hands and feet today. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know this isn't my usual lengthy post, but I've only begin to really let myself process. So this is all I have for now. My prayer for myself and for you, is that we could make a difference in someone's life today, whether big or small. But that love would prevail, because in the end, love is what saves us, and love is all that really matters. </div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-11846519954712932592012-07-30T12:50:00.003-07:002012-07-30T12:50:28.071-07:00Life, in a new season, in a new place, in different circumstances...it's definitely not been the easiest of transitions. I apologize if this is brief, one of these days I plan on writing more about the emotional side of things and how the transition is treating me, but as for now, here is the backbone of what is going on in my life.<br />
<br />
I have been back in Fort Collins for almost three months, those three months seem like years, as so much has changed and developed week-to-week. It became apparent to me that the medical field in Northern Colorado is one of the most competitive in the nation. That is both good and bad. Good, because we have some of the nation's most excellent hospitals and healthcare providers, bad, because the jobs in the field are highly sought after and therefore you must be at the top of your game. So, I began looking for any work that would help me financially until something better came along.<br />
<br />
I landed a job at an Aveda salon in Loveland working at the front desk. My job consists of answering phones, scheduling appointments, and checking customers in an out, as well as selling products. I took the job excited about the possibilities of building relationships with those that worked there. God has opened up several doors already for me to share about Him and the experiences I have had overseas and with YWAM. Although it is about the farthest thing away from a medical career, I know that God has been using me there, and I am grateful for that.<br />
<br />
I also interviewed and tested for the EMT Reserves, which is Poudre Valley Health Systems volunteer EMT program. I was accepted into the program and just completed my orientation today and will be able to begin to do ambulance ride alongs and events starting next week. Poudre Valley and MCR hospitals really only ever hire out of this pool of reserves, so the more volunteer time I put in, the more I will be able to move up in the ranks and hopefully get offered a position sometime in the near future. I would love your prayers regarding this, as it is extremely competitive.<br />
<br />
As far as school goes, I am taking three summer classes in preparation for Paramedic school. They are medical terminology, IV therapy, and EKG Interpretation. They have been awesome and I really love being back in school and learning more skills to add to my tool belt.<br />
<br />
So there you have it, a very brief catch up on my life. I will hopefully be able to write another blog in the next week or two, going more in depth on how the transition is going. I do however want to say a HUGE thank you to those of you that have supported me in this transition period, I cannot even begin to explain what a blessing that was. It really relieved a lot of financial stress and uncertainty as I looked for work these past few months. And to those of you that are continuing on in support of future RescueNet deployments, I am also so grateful. Also, for those of you that have been praying, how I value those prayers. I know God's hand has been at work through so many things these past few months. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of this journey with me. I never saw it as a one man show, but as the body of Christ moving together in a powerful way to impact people's hearts. Each of you are beloved members of my family.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-66655794790418496602012-04-17T14:07:00.003-07:002012-04-17T14:47:39.720-07:00The Process...The moving process is in full swing. I used to be able to pride myself on the fact that all my belongings fit inside a car, that everything else was excess and should be thrown away. Well this go around, I feel like I finally hit that age that got me thinking about all it takes to actually live in a home alone. It takes kitchen stuff, furniture, decorations, and on and on and on. No more borrowing my roommates this or that, at least for now. So about 15 boxes shipped and two car fulls later, I think I will manage to get most of it home.<div><br /></div><div>Packing is a strange experience, and believe me I would know. In my time on staff alone I have moved five times, once to California, three times while living here, and once back to Colorado. The act of going through your stuff brings up a lot of memories, some good, some funny, some painful. This time it was a little painful, mostly notes and pictures from a past relationship that I needed to discard, but this time I experienced a new packing emotion: awe. </div><div><br /></div><div>Awe. Such a small word that packs a big punch. My awe came in the form of reflection over the things that God has done in me and taught me in this place. Awe, that so many of you have been a part of this journey with me. Awe, that I am walking away knowing my Creator in a way that I never knew I could before I came. It's funny to think that all of this came while I was packing. </div><div><br /></div><div>Two weeks from today I will begin my journey back to Colorado. With this transition comes a lot of unknowns. So I would like to ask for your prayers. The most pressing things are that I would be able to get on the volunteer EMT Reserves and then quickly after, get hired on as an EMT. In the meantime I am applying for paying jobs at various hospitals in the area in whatever capacity I am qualified for. I am also taking three classes that not only count as prerequisites for paramedic school, but are also useful in helping me get a job as an EMT. But the kicker is that I won't be an in-state student for a year, so I am having to pay out-of-state tuition. So I would really appreciate your prayers for provision in both a job and finances to help me cover school. I also want to be able to find a tight knit community to be a part of. I think YWAM is one of the most unique community settings ever, and will be really difficult to leave and adjust to living outside of that community. It's challenging but good to rest in the fact that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever and desires to be my provider, if I only let Him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also I just wanted to say, that you guys are special to me. Really and truly. </div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-50853055261353408482012-04-09T21:49:00.002-07:002012-04-09T22:21:38.142-07:00SacrificeWhat would it look like if there was no brokenness on earth? What would it look like if humans were incapable of hurting one another? How would relationships look if this were true? <div><br /></div><div>I had a relationship issue come up that really hit me hard and it got me thinking about all of these things. I think the easiest answer is that the world would look a lot more like heaven, but then again what do we really know of heaven? It is mysteries wrapped within mysteries, the details are rather ambiguous. All I know is that in that moment of intense pain, I want so badly to be someone else. I want to cut out my heart and my memories and replace them with new ones. It's in that moment that I begin to understand why this world is so quick to turn to suicide, and divorce, and anger that puts up so many barriers. I begin to see how wars were started and how abortion became such a commonplace thing....it all begins with hurt and brokenness that snowballs into more and more and more, leading us down some of these paths.</div><div><br /></div><div>But here comes the but......but then I am reminded that the one real positive of brokenness, is that it causes me to understand my utter dependence on my Savior. The One whom my very next breath comes from, the One who holds the keys to all things, the One who has my best interest at heart, the One who sacrificed Himself in such a gruesome way, taking on all our iniquities. </div><div><br /></div><div>Do you know what iniquity actually means? It literally translates in Hebrew to mean that we are slaves to our sin, we are bound to it. Meaning that God, who is the very definition of perfect, chose to take on our slavery to sin as His so that we would know grace. That baffles me. No baffle is not the right word, if I even attempt to wrap my mind around that I end up on my face in praise. I am so undeserved. And yet, I have been freely offered this gift from my Savior. In my brokenness I remember that if I am so deeply loved by Him, that's all I need. And it's in that moment of realization that brokenness has to flee, because I have authority over it. Now I don't know about you, but that is good news to me! </div><div><br /></div><div>And that brings me back to heaven, regardless of the details of what heaven will be like, I can't wait to spend eternity with the One who loves me so incredibly. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-1963118109187274472012-04-07T20:55:00.025-07:002012-04-07T21:28:45.876-07:00Moving On...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzv55LIvo8mO965heMcFJFMzQ_wOObDSFlH-WIEhtmbwSg68vObT6AmnrrnDnoO4_mqR1ZcOSOBLXT75B2SFgkeLtHNJ0KBoADmiQgF0_DZ6-2BWOqYnCjoOlr58D9d5sD_mjqjojPn_OT/s1600/IMG_0223.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzv55LIvo8mO965heMcFJFMzQ_wOObDSFlH-WIEhtmbwSg68vObT6AmnrrnDnoO4_mqR1ZcOSOBLXT75B2SFgkeLtHNJ0KBoADmiQgF0_DZ6-2BWOqYnCjoOlr58D9d5sD_mjqjojPn_OT/s320/IMG_0223.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5728875273817390018" /></a><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Here it is hot off the presses, my big news! No, I am not getting married, although that would be very exciting! I am however stepping down from being on staff with YWAM Pismo Beach.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Before I begin, I would like you to hear my heart. This is a big piece of news to drop in your lap, and so I want to share the process with you. Believe me it is just as strange, trying to write 23 years of life experiences in two pieces of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">paper. This however was not a drop of the hat decision, it has been something that I have been praying about for the past nine months.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I wish I could bring you in on each specific story, thought process, and detail that brought me to this decision, but that would take more paper than I own. So I w</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">ould like to begin with a story, since those seem to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"> explain things best.</span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">About 20 years ago, I began to play doctor; we even have it on old family vid</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ">eos. I had a bag of plastic “doctor” tools that I carried around and mended my various family members with.</span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Fast forward a few years to college. It was there that I chose to major in biomedical sciences, continuing to pursue my desire to be a doctor. But I found myself searching and broken, unsure of the purpose of life and unsure that there was truly a God who loved and cared about me. I began to realize that school and dreams aside, I needed to make a choice; I either needed to be sold out for Jesus or be sold out for myself. He didn’t give me a middle of the road option. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">So after a short mission trip to Mexico, and some solid conversations with an important mentor in my life, I made a choice to head to YWAM Pismo Beach to do my Discipleship Training School. It was there that my life was radically transformed, ruined for the ordinary in fact. I knew that I could no longer return to life as I had once known it.</span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">As I have always been a lover of missions, the prospect of staying on staff became a reality. Here I was encouraged to dream big, so I took all of my passions for young people, traveling, administration, encouragement, injustice issues, music, and art and threw them all together and out came Project Sixty-One. Pioneering this ministry became one of the single most challenging, painstaking, and yet beautiful adventures I have ever been a pa</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ">rt of. It taught me to take risks, to trust God even when it seemed impossible, and it showed me that in my weakness, God made beautiful things from the ashes.</span></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But in this process my love for the medical took a backseat because I thought that without a degree, I was basically useless in that area. So I reluctantly set </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">it aside and pursued other things, hoping God would give me a passion for something else. But I begin to realize that I was trying to turn away from a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">talent that God has gifted me with because it didn’t fit into the box that the world told me it should.</span></span></span></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">God has a way of reminding me that His ways are higher than my own. It wa</span><span class="Apple-style-span">s January 16, 2010 and I was sitting on an airplane that was taking me from California to the Dominican Republic, our pitstop before Haiti. I had never experienced a disaster situation firsthand, and in several moments I knew my life would never again be the same.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px; ">It was there that I was asked to clean wounds, and it was there that I prayed and wept over those that had lost so much, those that were walking testimonies of God’s grace. I remember thinking that eve</span><span class="Apple-style-span">n through all the language barriers, I could show the love of Jesus by cleaning their wounds. In those few short days in Haiti, God uncovered a world of possibilities; ways that He could use the medical talents H</span><span class="Apple-style-span">e has given me to bring restoration to the body, but also to the heart.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" >In October of 2010, God opened up another door and I did my RescueNet training course in San Francisco. RescueNet, being YWAM’s international disaster relief team. Another piece was added to the puzzle, and I saw the possibilities unfold for medical missions.</span></div><div> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BWVmgBfNttWCZ5T8o9Ma1C71XhYbjnpDRxTSkmbB18U8C8rIEi_PIxMy1av3LzVrJTeTxy9SOX2GiNQPQ7kFLzp1T-rnBgVs59mGCnrN12utv9UJW0-dFpINSN6jIY9I_lWECbVxPxEa/s320/IMG_1925.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5728876619485208434" style="float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 254px; " /><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">This st</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">or</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;">y comes to a rather important close in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;">the summer of 2011. It was in the heart of San Francisco that my passions unfolded in full. During my Emergency Medical Technician, or EMT, bootcamp class, I never felt more alive.</span></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">On my first 12 hour hospital shift I saw a baby, a girl my age, and an elderly man die. I came to class the next day and told my instructor that I wanted to quit. As I sat there and cried, so did he, and when I was finished he began to speak truth into my heart. He told me that many get the opportunity to experience the joys of new life, but few get the opportunity to cherish in the sacredness of death. We talked a lot about the ability to bring peace and compassion into the most traumatic of situations for both the patient and their family. And we talked about love and how we can really be the hands of Christ in the medical sphere. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">From there I was sold. I’m of the opinion that we too easily get bogged down deciding what exact, specific, perfect thing that God has called to, and in the process we forget what He has and wants for us today. I believe that verse in Psalms that says, “take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." One of the deepest desires of my heart is to bring healing, not just to the physical body, but to the heart as well. Of course, without God this is impossible, but with Him is promised to me in scripture. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">After my EMT school, I realized I had come full circle. That little girl playing at doctor, is now a woman who desires to walk into the medical sphere and bring the love of Christ there. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">And so that brings us to the present day. I have spent the last nine months prayerfully seeking God on what this reoccurring passion looks like. I also wanted to be responsible with this decision making process, knowing that flippancy isn’t something I strive for.</span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAQ0znOgINpFjCGaeUcrcSSACRcy48q1RntTFXTF4_Dn52xhG8lb92QQA-sRceP_poKtJY-KHtEX9JVItPhTR2uYzLuSsJB53lCeO2kc2sGgfiP_Rt-8h2-zNsgpzUGqnIxbmR-CWv-YpP/s320/306873_10150352610545199_640500198_10214565_7010675_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5728877427081718002" style="float: right; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px; " /> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">He has spent those months showing me that He was building a foundation in me while at YWAM Pismo Beach. Teaching me that my relationship with Him is more important than any grand ministry goals I could construct. He’s been showing me that it has been in this place that I have learned my identity in Him, knowing that I am loved and valued by the most high King. And it is through these things that I have learned what it means to love others.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">It has been here at YWAM Pismo Beach that I have learned how to dream big, create a ministry, plan and lead teams overseas and in the states, disciple others, manage an office, lead various fundraising and administrative departments, teach, among many other skills. Not that I would profess to know it all, because I will always be learning and growing. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">I have had the opportunity to go to seven different countries in my time here, doing outreach in various capacities. Some of which include, human trafficking, children’s, orphan’s, English studies, college, tribal, medical, and disaster relief ministries. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Looking back on it all I am amazed that God could send me on so many amazing adventures and my heart could grow and change so much in five years. It truly has been a season of building a foundation. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">What’s next from here you may ask? My immediate plans are to move back to Fort Collins, Colorado on May 1st, 2012. I am hoping to get a job as an EMT for about a year, while taking a few courses at a local community college. I am then looking into a paramedic school in Denver. This schooling will be about a year in total. And from there I trust that God will guide and direct my steps as He always has.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">So yes, I will be stepping down from YWAM Pismo Beach, but no, I am not finished with RescueNet. RescueNet, YWAM’s international disaster response team, does not require me to be on staff at a YWAM base to remain a part of the team. As this disaster response team only adds to my love and joys of assisting others medically, I have a strong desire to remain an active team member. This means that as disasters come up and deployments arise, I will be a part of as many as I am able. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">What does this mean for Project Sixty-One (the short-term outreach ministry)? As Project Sixty-One is a ministry I pioneered, I have the capacity to take it with me. I already have some plans brewing as to how I can still keep it an active ministry while living in Colorado, taking teams overseas on short-term missions. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">As for overseas missions, is this the end of traveling for me? I can, with a smile on my face, say that in no way is this the end of my time in overseas missions. I have a deep desire and longing to be going into the nations. And who knows where I might end up several years down the road!</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">So to all of you who have been a part of these last five years with me, I want you to know that I consider you family. It has been such a joy to have so many supportive people stand alongside me. You have been givers of your time, your prayers, and your finances. You also have been givers of your hearts. One of my most favorite things has been the emails and phone calls that I have received from so many of you. You have shared your joys, your pains, your fears, and through that I feel like we became the body of Christ. Lifting one another up in prayer and encouraging one another to keep moving forward. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">I can say with confidence that you have made an impact not only in California, but in the nations. You have also been an instrumental part in impacting my life. Each and every one of you has been a part of my journey in discovering the fullness of what God has for me and the fullness of walking in His love and grace. So thank you for being not only willing, but excited, in walking through this season with me. It has blessed me beyond words and I will be forever thankful!</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">So herein lies a new chapter, one that will be full of many new and exciting adventures! My hope is that we can continue to be an integral part of one another’s lives in the years to come. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">If you have any questions or thoughts about my transition, I would love to communicate further with you. Please feel free to email me at jacquelyngowing@gmail.com. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Please be checking my blog for more information in the coming weeks. I will be able to expand and go into more detail on the moving process there.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px 'American Typewriter'"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;">Thank you so much for each of your hearts and investments in my life! </span></p></div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-61932121709799610982012-02-21T08:23:00.002-08:002012-02-21T09:09:29.780-08:00Leaky PipesI swear some mornings I think I wake up to God poking me and saying, "I hope you're ready for this one, because I'm about to teach you something." These would be the days I deem as bad ones. My desire to punch someone outweighs my logic and well, I have the tendency to shut down or be hypersensitive. <div><br /></div><div>Let me tell you this morning's story. This morning I awoke to an abnormal noise coming from my bedroom ceiling. I could tell someone was in the shower upstairs and I could tell that the water was not going where it should be going. All of a sudden there was a rush of water through my ceiling all over my carpeted floor. Now I am no plumber or contractor, but I have a feeling that the broken seam that goes all the way across my ceiling dripping with water, is not normal. Not only that, but the majority of the water leakage was over the room's light source, meaning that our electricity is now compromised and not working. </div><div><br /></div><div>So as you can imagine, I began to rush about finding towels, buckets, and my sanity. And then came the five minutes of anger, anger at my roommates, anger at my co-workers, anger at anyone and everyone that had ever set out to be a jerk at some point in my life. And this anger wasn't over the water, it was over things that have happened over the past several months, almost like a dam had been released. It was amazing how in the midst of the chaos, my brain could come up with examples of ways that I had been wronged. </div><div><br /></div><div>Isn't it funny that we do that? Even in our full adult forms, we often have these real primal child-like moments that threaten to rear their ugly head and forfeit our polished and perfected exterior that we have learned to wear.</div><div><br /></div><div>Today, I caught myself off guard in my reaction, and so I had to stop and think, what am I being taught right now? Now I realize this is a rather comical story, and you might think that I am the Queen of overreacting, which may be partially true. But, I learn in strange ways. So my nugget of truth came like a rush of water, no pun intended. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have always struggled with patience, and the root of that comes from my desire to have control over my life and surroundings. So if someone isn't doing something fast enough or the way I would do it, I become impatient and usually take over. This has been a tough season for me, one that has required much patience. One that also is teaching me that most of the time it's better to keep my mouth shut rather than share my thoughts or opinions. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I cut off my tongue...</div><div><br /></div><div>On another note, I wanted to share what I have been doing for the last four months here with YWAM. This has been a season of transition and so there has been a lot of waiting and praying and seeking the things that God has for me next. But that has left me time to be able to really dive into the day-to-day base activities. This is something new for me, because I am usually off doing some school, or training, or outreach. </div><div><br /></div><div>Some of these things I have mentioned in past posts, things like leadership team and skate church and RescueNet. For almost two years now I have been a part of the base's leadership team, this team handles all of the legal, moral, and financial issues at the base. This has been one of the most challenging roles I have ever played while being on staff because I often feel like the bearer of bad news when something happens or a decision has to be made. But God has been really working in my heart and life, showing me the false assumptions I had in being a leader. Whoever told me it was all glam and fun, was full of it, because you carry a responsibility, it is scriptural even, but it is hard. All that to say, we have been re-structuring the entire base and its guidelines and operations for over a year now. So that is one thing that my time has been spent on as of late.</div><div><br /></div><div>The other's are skate church and RescueNet, both of which you have heard me describe and explain many times. I know sometimes it's easy to wonder what people in ministry do when they are not up in front teaching or always overseas doing outreaches, but believe me it's a very busy job to keep a base functioning. It takes many hands, hearts, and brains. </div><div><br /></div><div>As far as how you can be praying for me, I am speaking at a youth group tomorrow night from 7-9 pm and would love your prayers during that time. I will be talking about YWAM, missions, and the Great Commission. Also I am taking next week off to do a road trip up the coast to really spend some time away with God. I try and do this once or twice a year to get renewed vision and direction for upcoming things. So I would love your prayers that it would be a restful and rejuvenating time, with a lot of hearing from God.</div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-26827721333216328252012-02-08T13:16:00.000-08:002012-02-08T19:08:51.325-08:00Finding Content in the DiscontentWe live in a world that is very much self-seeking, self-pleasing, self, self, self. The get it now and get it fast has turned young people, especially, into some of the most fake and self-centered people I have yet to experience. As much as I would like to exempt myself from the above statement, I am not exempt. Throw in my extreme drivenness and lack of patience and sometimes I can be the most ugly of them all.<div><br /></div><div>I am in an interesting place as of late, one that I can't say I usually stay in for so long. And yet, here I am, several months into being consistently bitter and angry. At what you might ask, well yes, there are some specific things I can pinpoint, but I am ever quick to resort to anger at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. </div><div><br /></div><div>When I'm angry I don't explode outwardly, I am pretty good at holding back, but inside, I feel like I am holding onto a monster, one that is rearing his ugly head and breathing fire. Now I struggle with admitting to these type of feelings because I feel like many Christians have gone out of their way to tell me that I need to pull it together, I need to let it go, I need to fix it. But wasn't Jesus angry once in awhile? Yes, His anger was righteous, it was a secondary emotion that occurred because He loves us so deeply. But, as I am His, made in His image, I think it's ok to feel emotions. Not to drown in them, not to be consumed by them, but to feel them and work through them.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am a pretty emotional person, I have been told I feel too deeply, that I need to grow some tougher skin. But I can honestly tell you that I don't grow much when I am content and just head over heels loving life. The seasons that I look back on that were the most incredible for growing deep roots, were those that I felt things, deep things, things that still make me wince when I think back on them. You know why? Because it was then that I knew that without God, I might literally crumble to ashes. It was in that moment that I understood that God literally gives me every breath, that life without Him is so incredibly pointless, it's like wandering around alone in a desert. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, in this world, that is all about the now, I have begun to see that people are quick to get over everything and fast, because if you aren't living the happy life of the rich and famous, you must be a nobody. So we learn how to shove things under the proverbial rug, our hearts become cold, and we become distant to everyone and everything. We all become humanitarians, we do enough to feel good, and then we stop because we don't want it to cost us anything. </div><div><br /></div><div>My heart breaks when I look around and see so many people that walk around with sky high walls around their heart. And then I think about myself, I have been hurt deeply, wounds that seem to always keep on bleeding, and so I have too become a master at resurrecting thick, hard, walls with barbed wire on the top. </div><div><br /></div><div>And then I am reminded that love is one huge risk. To love and be loved is actually the most terrifying thing on the planet. Because the true definition of love is the one that Jesus gave, He came and died and rose again because He loved us so incredibly, knowing full well that so many would spit in His face and say they hate Him. I have spat in His face more times than I can count. He sacrificed everything. And even then, sometimes I turn my back. </div><div><br /></div><div>So here I am. Living in a season where I am angry, trying hard to figure out why, to let myself ride with it and not shove it somewhere. And why? Because I don't want to be that girl that can't love sacrificially like I'm called to, I want to be that girl that gives and gives and risks and loves, knowing that ultimately, it doesn't matter if it's reciprocated or not. </div><div><br /></div><div>Because I was called to love. <span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:small;">Mark 12:29-31<b>, </b><span class="woj">“The most important one,”</span> answered Jesus, <span class="woj">“is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.<b> </b></span><span class="woj">Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’<b> </b></span><span class="woj">The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’<b> </b>There is no commandment greater than these.”</span></span></div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-28742728192975899622012-01-30T19:10:00.000-08:002012-01-31T10:05:28.874-08:00Acne & IdentityIsn't it funny that no matter how old we grow, most of the problems we had as teenagers don't really go away, they just morph. Granted, we may have learned how to hold our tongues longer and keep a straight face when necessary, but the hurt is still just as strong and just as cutting. <div><br /></div><div>Sometimes I wish someone would have sat me down and told me that people can be just as hurtful, that a job doesn't equal security, that relationships are hard, that stress will not only continue to give you zits, but can also give you ulcers and make your hair fall out. But then again, praise God no one did tell me these things, because frankly, they are discouraging. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes these images cause for strange reflection, but I've always been one to get completely lost in thought over some pretty ridiculous things. However these reflections led me to a difficult and yet encouraging realization, one that I felt I wanted to share with each of you.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the most important lessons I have learned about myself during my time with YWAM is that I am a beloved of the King. Now I know, it sounds simple, but it's one thing to know something in your head and something completely different to know it in your heart. That six inches between my head and my heart sometimes seem like it mind as well be millions of miles apart; because there are many things that I believe intellectually that never become real because my heart remains unbelieving and unchanged. </div><div><br /></div><div>For me to believe in my heart that I am a daughter of the most high King has taken what some would call an eternity. I have spent far too many years walking around having a chameleon sort of identity. Making myself fit to look like someone or something or anything, just to find acceptance and a sense of security. Identity. What a small word, what a huge concept.</div><div><br /></div><div>I remember the first time I was ever challenged in this. It was during my Discipleship Training School. This person asked me, "Jacque, who are you?" And of course I answered, "I'm Jacque Gowing, I'm a student, I studied at Colorado State...." and on and on I went listing the attributes I thought made up me. This person let me talk, and when I had finished they asked me again, "but who are you?" My first thought was, this person is clearly deaf because I just told them who I was. After this question was thrown at me five or six times I finally blurted out, "I don't know!" I finally said it out loud, the thing I was so scared to admit, I had no clue who I was. My chameleon skin lay on the ground, I was standing naked, so to speak, for the first time in my life. </div><div><br /></div><div>Slowly but surely, God began to clothe me, began to speak things over me. I learned about who He had created me to be, the talents He had given me, the joy He found in me, His beloved. And it wasn't that He hadn't been saying these things all along, it's just that I thought He wasn't trustworthy, that the things He had for me were more like condemnation and judgement. I had been deceived, because the things He had for me were like succulent fruit or decadent chocolate cake, I couldn't get enough. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now let's be real, you do not discover your identity one day and then walk in it flawlessly until the day you die. It becomes a choice. I have to choose day in and day out if I am going to walk in the chameleon ways of my old self, or if I'm going to put that to death and walk in the fullness of who I was created to be. </div><div><br /></div><div>So back to our teenage selves, although some things never change, I am forever grateful that my identity has. The real reason behind what got me thinking this way is, for the past few weeks I have started getting involved with a local skate church. There is an incredible group of people that have been holding a weekly skate church for 10-18 year olds that have come from broken homes and circumstances. They are students that may not necessarily have a church or feel comfortable in a church setting. So they meet in a skate park, where they are fed, discipled, and are free to skate. </div><div><br /></div><div>After someone shares, we break the students up into small groups. There are 3-4 girls that show up and as it's only my third week, I am just starting to get to know them. They have no idea that Jesus loves them as much as He does, they have no idea who to find their identity in, they are hurting and facing all of those dreadful teenage insecurities. And more frightening is they don't have strong friends and family supporting them and encouraging them to hold tight to Jesus.</div><div><br /></div><div>And so that's why my thoughts have been reaching back to all of those moments in my own life. I would so love your prayers for this, for glimpses into their lives and hearts. That ultimately Jesus would reach in and touch them and they would walk in their identity, princesses of the King. </div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-36463334750479508772012-01-06T10:19:00.000-08:002012-01-06T11:23:57.768-08:00WavesI love the ocean. I love looking at its vast expanse and wondering how it's possible that so many things live in its depths. I love listening to it crash loudly on the shore, asserting its awesome power. But most of all, my trips to the beach consist of being in awe of God. Most people go to the beach to enjoy the sun and play in the water, I am quite the opposite. I go to the beach when I am having a hard time. I go to run until I can't feel my legs, I go to sob uncontrollably, I go to shout. Lately I go because I have these nagging doubts that seem to want to consume me. I go to remind myself that if God can create huge expanses of ocean, with thriving life beneath its shores, than surely He desires to have a plan and purpose for me. Surely He can calm these nagging doubts that seem to swallow me whole.<div><br /></div><div>I will be the first to tell you that I do not have it all together. I am judgmental, selfish, over-bearing, driven to a fault, I am opinionated and set in my negative ways. And on and on the list goes. To top it all off, I doubt God often. I know it's not the standard to go around as a missionary admitting that I doubt God, but I do sometimes. Sometimes I think it's incredibly absurd to believe that stories like David and Goliath, Lazarus, and Daniel and the lions actually happened. I think it's strange to believe in someone I can't see. And don't even get me started on Revelation, I mean beasts with twenty eyes and four heads, what in the world? </div><div><br /></div><div>But then I think back to the ocean and the mountains and the human body, held in this extremely fragile, yet tough state. Those things are just as big of mysteries wrapped in miracles, unexplainable really. Or hearing stories of cancer disappearing, people dying and then suddenly coming back, and money showing up in mailboxes when you need it the most. </div><div><br /></div><div>Faith is the complete trust and belief in someone or something. I don't know why, but my doubts, that come from my human inability to wrap my mind around everything, seem to rouse my faith. They seem to bring new hope, new desire, new passion. Which are all things I need at the beginning of the year. </div><div><br /></div><div>Normally, I hate the beginning of the year, while most people see it as a time to make resolutions and set goals, I tend to want to cower in the corner. Although 23 years is not all that old, I feel like the last few years have aged me. They have been difficult, painstaking even. I know it's impossible to expect to live in a state of flowers and roses but I guess I would have liked a few more rainbows and unicorns rather than a broken heart and uncertain steps. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe my expectations are too high, maybe this is what life entails....this is what I have been wrestling with as of late. Seeking God for some truth and understanding in the matter.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, to transition into what I have been up to, it has been a hectic wrap up to the year. The last time I wrote was in October and it was then that I was in Salem, Oregon helping staff RescueNet's annual training course. I was blessed to be able to teach the medical part of the course, which was incredible! Not only was it amazing to teach something that I love, but it really helped solidify the material for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>In November, I moved into a new community house as we had some staff finish up their commitments and move on. So now all of of us single people fit into one house! It is fun to be able to spend more time together, we have quite a fun group! Representing Colorado, Texas, North Carolina, Finland, and Holland, there is never a dull moment! We also are a pretty crafty/artsy group so it's fun to be able to come home everyday to someone's amazing project lying all over the floor! Also these people really love God and have such a huge heart to serve and bless others, they teach me new things every single day.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now we are here ready to kick off our January DTS (Discipleship Training School) on Sunday. We have students from all over the world coming in which always brings new life and fun to the base! </div><div><br /></div><div>Things are still going well with RescueNet, I am currently working on getting my uniform and equipment purchased so that I am ready to deploy with the team when the next disaster hits. Please be praying that I would be able to have the finances quickly so that I am ready and not scrambling at the last minute to get all of that sorted out.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally I wanted to say that I appreciate you guys, I am blessed to hear about your travels around the US and the world doing outreaches of all sorts. I am also blessed to hear cool stories of God using you in your family or workplace to share His love and goodness. Keep em coming! </div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-15072769277517852342011-10-07T20:34:00.000-07:002011-10-07T21:08:46.853-07:00RescueNet CourseI am sitting at the YWAM base in the beautiful state of Oregon. It is my first time to Oregon and I am loving the chilly rainy weather! I know, I know most of you probably think I'm crazy, but October is Pismo's warmest month. I feel like since living there, I have not experienced a true fall season in awhile, so I am soaking it up. <div><br /></div><div>I am here in Oregon because RescueNet is running their yearly training course. This is, in fact, the same course that I did last October in San Francisco. The difference this time is that I am now a staff member, meaning that I am involved in helping teach, run scenarios, and love on the new students that have come with ready and willing minds to learn. As you know, this also is the second phase of my certification process, meaning that after this I can officially deploy with the team. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am really excited for this course because it combines all of my passions into one. The love of medical mix with the love of God and the love of the community that comes out of the team setting. It really makes me come alive. </div><div><br /></div><div>You may remember from my last post, that I was asked to teach the medical aspect of the course. This is two solid days of teaching and labs. I know my family would say that listening to me talk for 10 hours a day is like nails on a chalkboard, so I would love your prayers over my time here. This is the first time I have ever taught on this subject, and also the first time I have ever spoken about anything for this length of time. I am feeling the weight and responsibility of my role, and am beginning to get anxious as my teaching days approach. Not to mention, most of the course participants are older and have more training than me. But then I was reminded that God loves using the under qualified and the weak. I want that truth to wash over me, to sink into my very core. Because who am I apart from God anyway?</div><div><br /></div><div>I would love your prayers over the coming two weeks as the course begins on Sunday and goes for two weeks. My teaching days are on Wednesday October 12 & Thursday October 13 basically all day, so I would really appreciate your prayers specifically then. Also just for protection against sickness, injuries, equipment breaking, or division amongst the team. Your prayers really do make a difference and I am so grateful for them, so thank you in advance!</div><div><br /></div><div>If more specific things come up I will update you throughout the course, if not, I will send out an update as soon as I return home at the end of the month. Love you all!</div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-58622545506932748372011-09-06T12:01:00.000-07:002011-09-06T13:20:34.548-07:00Sirens, Stethoscopes, & a GirlIt has taken me a few weeks to regain composure as I have been settling back into normal life. Every time I sit down to write a blog, I get antsy, lose all creative drive, and am at a loss of words as to how to explain the last two months. Those of you that know me well know that I am rarely at a loss for words. It seems that in the seasons that God is doing deep change in me, I retreat back into my head trying to sort out what in the world He is doing. For those around me, these seasons are never fun because I am usually in a mood. Hopefully my mood will not escape from my mind to my fingers as I type. <div><br /></div><div>Do you know those moments when you hear a song, see a landscape, have a good conversation, where your heart feels as if it could not possibly be any fuller? Those moments that heaven and earth collide and you laugh in the middle of a store, cry at the most inopportune moment, and dance and hope that no one's watching? I find myself living for those moments, they are the things that bring me that unquenchable passion that no one would squelch. It's times like that where I feel as if God is actually holding my hand and laughing with me. It's those times that I catch a glimpse of what it means, in scripture, where it talks about Him delighting over me. And then reality hits through a ridiculous driver, an unexpected bill, a day where you feel like if you disappeared no one would notice. And then I'm reminded that when my world comes crashing down around me I have a choice, to be burdened or be free. It's never an easy choice, one that I will wrestle with for the rest of my life, but it's a choice nonetheless. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have been living between these two worlds for the past two months, learning to find peace and solitude in the most loud, obscene, and dirty places. As you know, I packed up and headed to San Francisco, in June, to embark in a five week EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) school. It was five of the most incredibly challenging and amazing weeks of my life. I made it through many painfully long nights of studying, many long days of classroom time learning skills, human processes, ridiculously long words, how quickly I could bond with a group of random people, and saw how extremely fragile the human body is and how God truly holds our next breath in the palm of His hand.</div><div><br /></div><div>Living in San Francisco itself was also incredibly different than anything I've ever experienced. I have only ever visited for short periods of time, so to call it home was a completely different feeling. I adapted quickly to walking everywhere, carrying pepper spray in my pocket, and finding the creativity of God in the diversity of His creation. Honestly, I loved it, it was hard to say goodbye.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are a hundred different stories I could share about the school itself, but to spare my fingers and your brain I will only highlight a few. The first being that through my time on the streets of a big city, I began to realize that I have put God in yet another box. He has been showing me that missions is so different than the four walls I have placed it in. Missions conjures up visions of distant lands, naked people, and poorly dressed missionaries for more than just me I am sure. But what if missions was merely us bringing the kingdom to those around us no matter where we are? I don't need the fancy title of missionary to do that. I know, it sounds so basic, but God has been really rocking my world with this one lately, all because I took off my YWAM hat and traded it in for a navy blue uniform and stethoscope for five weeks.</div><div><br /></div><div>As you can imagine, emergency medicine is a very personal field that brings you into peoples' homes when they didn't clean beforehand, it exposes skeletons in people's closets, you being the first spectator to their secrets, and it brings an extreme vulnerability, letting us see and hear things they would be mortified for anyone else to know. And when you can bring the peace and love of Christ with you as you walk in their door, really amazing things can happen. </div><div><br /></div><div>During my school I had the chance to do shifts in both the hospital and on a fire truck and have continued to do more ride alongs since. Every time I am struck by how God can use me, a rather loud, opinionated, and paranoid girl, to bring His peace to those that are in some of their most fearful and painful moments. All I know is that it has nothing to do with me, it's all Him. </div><div><br /></div><div>I suppose I should also tell you that I did complete the course, graduating as joint valedictorian (don't ask me how that happened, God totally deserves credit for that one), and am both a nationally and California state certified EMT. I even have an ambulance driver's license (yeah I know, scary). </div><div><br /></div><div>So what does this all mean for me now? I am back in Pismo Beach with YWAM, still working with Project Sixty-One and RecueNet, also doing base related work. I am also working on getting a weekly volunteer opportunity set up with local ambulance company. This way I can keep my skills fresh and also be able to build relationships with people in the community. What does this mean for me in the future? Well, God is stirring some things in my heart that I am still praying about, more to come on that in the near future. </div><div><br /></div><div>On another note, next month I will be spending about three weeks in Salem, Oregon with the RescueNet team. We will be heading up another disaster relief training course for those that are interested in joining the team. This will also serve as my completion of Phase II of my training, leaving me ready to serve on deployments starting in November. I have been asked to teach the medical portion of the course which will be about two days worth of teaching. I am really excited about this but nervous as this will be one of the longest teaching times I have ever been a part of. Also this will be my first time teaching on medical topics, so I would really appreciate your prayers while I am preparing. I will keep you updated on my progress as the course approaches and let you know more specifically how you can be praying for me during my actual teaching time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally I wanted to thank those of you that helped send me to this EMT school, it was extremely valuable and life changing and I appreciate your investment in me. Also thanks to those of you that helped cover my hospital bill, it was covered in full and paid on time because of your promptness and willingness to give!</div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-36847224921413964492011-06-24T09:10:00.000-07:002011-06-24T09:24:15.756-07:00Hospital BillI have both a quick prayer request and financial need to bring to you. I will get right to the point as to not waste your time reading some long explanation. <div><br /></div><div>Last year in November I got a virus around my lungs called pleurisy. Basically it's where the lining that surrounds your lungs get inflamed. At the time I thought I had pneumonia and was having trouble breathing to I went in to the ER. Well of course they sent me on my way feeling better but with a hefty bill of $4000. As I don't have insurance, I applied for assistance with the hospital and they lowered my bill to $421.84. </div><div><br /></div><div>I called again and told them that I couldn't afford to pay this amount still but the only thing they can do for me is to put me on a payment plan. </div><div><br /></div><div>So I would like to ask you to help me cover this amount. Of course because it came at the time of me being away from home and at school it is another stress to add to my current worries. So if you would be able to help me financially for this I would really really appreciate it. To donate you can do the following:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(153, 0, 55); line-height: 23px; ">(All donations are tax deductible)<br /><br />Online:<br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Click on the "Donate Now" button<br />3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & hospital bill<br /><br />Check:<br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction<br />3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" & hospital bill<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(153, 0, 55); line-height: 23px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(153, 0, 55); line-height: 23px; ">Thank you so much for your willingness to give!</span></div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-7032582347917571472011-06-16T14:00:00.000-07:002011-06-16T14:16:39.066-07:00The Time Has ComeThe time has finally come. On Monday I am boarding a train to San Francisco to embark on something I have always wanted to do but never thought would would happen. I am starting my EMT school and am excited and scared all at once. Please be keeping me in your prayers over the coming weeks. <div><br /></div><div>The past three weeks have honestly been a nightmare, you know that feeling that you get when you can't reach the surface? Drowning, that's exactly what I feel like. I am overwhelmed with the prospect of this school, with my financial situation, and with my life in general. Thank goodness for family that is so loving and supportive, because without them, this would probably be the 1000th time I would have thrown in the towel and called it quits. </div><div><br /></div><div>But then I am reminded that I don't have to stay in this place, that despair is a choice. I am in love with someone who is far greater at problem solving, mending hearts, restoring broken things, and providing than I ever could be. I can't believe someone loves me enough to wait patiently while I remember that He is the only one that could ever handle any of this anyways. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have struggled with the fine line of brokenness. On one hand I think it's healthy to be broken because it's in my weakness that His strength comes, but on the other hand, wallowing in anything is not healthy. And so I walk the tight rope of the two, being comfortable walking through pain, but knowing when it's time to rejoice. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love how people throughout the scripture would build an alter, not only was it a place of sacrifice to God but it was also a place of putting to death sin and shame and moving forward. I'm tired of looking back, so here in your presence I am building an alter. Moving forward and being free of the past. </div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-5847564044389772082011-06-03T09:44:00.001-07:002011-06-03T09:51:40.570-07:00Anatomy?...Yes Anatomy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwL5PM9xqHf77KxAogpKblnXkFglwsvjFJ8nbUQ4HiWNY79_vMBY-t54DnkItTw4HGEwAHQ9ymvLm4cTkbd38JfK-bpqMmpW6I2clG_yad9QMGpfZbe7AURkKZcAoqDQab7KJPmdZ8lkdR/s1600/IMG_3512.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwL5PM9xqHf77KxAogpKblnXkFglwsvjFJ8nbUQ4HiWNY79_vMBY-t54DnkItTw4HGEwAHQ9ymvLm4cTkbd38JfK-bpqMmpW6I2clG_yad9QMGpfZbe7AURkKZcAoqDQab7KJPmdZ8lkdR/s320/IMG_3512.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614035871621532114" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg10Rbjoo6w2QM2U-x4PaaQDtJgUGlYTGgfQaE7MU_FMh02Gk8z5rWD173hBPCPLpZdJjdQ-3DfqsVyyl61Qdhz_LSVddo7_lquwL-fnvHb7r9-D_obv4ftCZOnFVNxm9cu296w7BwbA82/s1600/IMG_3446.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg10Rbjoo6w2QM2U-x4PaaQDtJgUGlYTGgfQaE7MU_FMh02Gk8z5rWD173hBPCPLpZdJjdQ-3DfqsVyyl61Qdhz_LSVddo7_lquwL-fnvHb7r9-D_obv4ftCZOnFVNxm9cu296w7BwbA82/s320/IMG_3446.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614035582906002002" /></a><br /><div>It is finally here, school that is. For months now I have been eagerly awaiting the start of my EMT Bootcamp in San Francisco and it is just around the corner starting on June 23. Let's just say I am a mixed bag of emotions, everything from incredibly excited and eager to learn all the way to stressed and frantic thinking about how much studying I will be doing in such a short period of time. I have had many a mental image of words going in one ear and out the other, simply because my brain is so full already.</div><br />It was recommend that I get the 1500 page textbook beforehand and read and take notes on it in it's entirety before the class begins. Why you may ask? Well because I am doing the bootcamp style of this class, so what you normally learn in a 16 week semester I am learning in five weeks. I will be in class from 8:30am-5:30pm Monday thru Thursday and will have the weekend to take tests, put in hours in the classroom logging skills practice time, and doing my hours required in the emergency room and ambulance.<br /><br />But as I am a rather stubborn woman, the challenge brings excitement, and as I must remind myself, "I can do all things in Him." For those of you that are maybe just tuning in to my life. I am taking this course to help broaden my skills set for RescueNet, the international disaster relief team that I am a part of. The class will also give me more knowledge that will help me be able to facilitate medical outreaches through Project Sixty-One. So it is an investment into the ministry that I am doing both here at YWAM Pismo Beach and YWAM as a whole.<br /><br />I am excited to report that the finances for the school and for my lodging at YWAM San Fran did come in but I will be living very tight while trying to manage my bills at home and in San Fran. If you would like to give a special gift that would help towards managing these bills, would you please do the following:<br /><br />(All donations are tax deductible)<br /><br />Online:<br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Click on the "Donate Now" button<br />3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & what you would like your donation to go towards (ie. EMT School)<br /><br />Check:<br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction<br />3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" and the area you want your money designated (ie. EMT School)<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449<br /><br />Also your prayers during the next couple of months would be greatly appreciated. I know that on my own strength this school is nearly impossible, but with reliance on God, is achievable!<br /><br />In other news, my outreach to Guatemala was amazing! God taught me so much more about leading teams and a ton about what it looks like to facilitate a medical outreach. Let's just say my hat goes off to Bob & Linda Vomaske and their leadership during this outreach, because I can see just how big of an undertaking it was. Much much different than leading youth groups and young people, so it was a very valuable learning experience for me!<br /><div><br />I ended up working in optical most of the time, bouncing in and out of dental when I had the chance. It was such a blessing to be able to help people see, some for the first time, clearly. My favorite story was this sweet old woman who needed glasses. So when the glasses were finished I put them on her face and she started grinning ear to ear. She told us that she hadn't been able to walk to church for some time because she couldn't see and now, with the help of her glasses, she would be able again.<br /><br />Although we had many success stories, we also had an equal amount of tough encounters with people. They thought we were there to fix all their problems and it was hard to explain that due to lack of equipment or expertise we couldn't do anything for them. And so it was in these moments that my heart was broken for the nations again and I was back on my knees thanking God that He has blessed me with so much and asking how I can take what I have and go serve others.<br /><br />In total the clinic was able to see 1150 people, which blows my mind. The church that I went with from Colorado has also invested ten years into this particular city in Guatemala. So they will be back yearly to do building projects as well as more medical clinics. It is cool to see the body of Christ commit to the nations in this way!<br /><br />I want to share more about Guatemala, but as I am still processing the trip it is hard to put everything into words. So check back later for more stories!<br /><br />I wanted to finish by saying a huge thanks to those of you that gave a special gift or gave a little extra in your monthly support to help me go to Guatemala and attend this EMT school. What a blessing to have a support team that is going with me on each and every outreach or school!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-79602578750882024642011-05-18T16:09:00.000-07:002011-05-18T16:41:59.714-07:00A Latin American AdventureFrom Pismo Beach to North Carolina to San Francisco to Las Vegas to Colorado to Los Amates, Guatemala. This has been my life for the past month and half, and frankly I can't complain one bit! So often I marvel at God's ability to set things up in a specific sequence, but He's God so I guess I should pick my jaw up off the floor.<br /><br />I have been living out of a suitcase during this season which is kind of fun, the down side being that bags often get lost in the airport or you open up your bag to find your shampoo has poured all over your entire wardrobe for that week. But that's unimportant, what is important is the heart stuff. After the news I shared with you a few blogs back, God has been refining me. Believe me I have a long way to go, but I am learning more about the human condition, emotions, and relationships than I ever really wanted to. But because God is good, He has told me more than once lately, that it's all for a purpose. He is shaping me to be a solid friend to others that walk through the same heartache, and He is developing my character past my selfish, lazy, and prideful self. So the times that I come up for air in between these conferences and outreaches, I am reminded that I am not the driver and His plans for my life are pretty incredible. <br /><br />I was blessed to be able to spend a week with my RescueNet family at our North American headquarters in Las Vegas. We had a good sized handful of us come from all over the US to join together in prayer and learning. It was a blast and a good time to get to know some people that I hadn't had a chance to before. I walked away knowing that God is using RescueNet not only in the YWAM community, but also in the professional disaster response community, which is a pretty incredible thing. I left Vegas with a renewed passion for RescueNet and an excitement for my next phase of certification which is helping staff the same training course I took last October. I will keep you posted on that as it is later this year in Salem, Oregon. <br /><br />As many of you know, my next adventure happens tomorrow morning when I take off with members from Timberline Church, in Colorado, to go to Las Amates, Guatemala. I have had a chance to get to know these people over the past few days that I have been in Colorado and they are pretty incredible. We will be setting up a clinic in this village for the week where we will offer optic, dental, and triage. Not only will this be my first ever medically focused outreach, but part of the reason I am going is to learn how to set up, run, and lead this kind of outreach so that I can pursue medical missions with teams in the future with Project Sixty-One. I know God has some amazing things in store for this time and I am unbelievably excited to see Him blow me away!<br /><br />I wanted to ask you all to be praying for me and the team while we are there. Please be praying for health, safety, good communication and bonding, a genuine love for the people of Guatemala, and that we would be a blessing to the community, bringing the love of Christ to the brokenhearted. I also have been asked to lead worship daily for the team and frankly I am terrified. My guitar playing isn't the most amazing thing at the moment, so please pray that God and the team would give me lots of grace and courage!<br /><br />As soon as I get back I will write an update with stories and pictures, so stay posted for that!<br /><br />Finally, I wanted to give you guys an update on the status of my EMT school. The finances have come in for the school portion, which includes all my equipment, books, tuition, etc. I am still in need of raising $500 to pay for my lodging which will be at the YWAM San Fran base. By staying there I save a ton of money. If you would like to donate towards this please follow the directions below. And I wanted to say a huge thanks to those of you that have given above what you normally give monthly and those of you that have given a special gift. It means so much to have your support and to know that you partnering with me in these things. The school is quickly approaching, I leave for San Fran on June 20th, so please be praying that I can continue to gain ground in studying the material before I go!<br /><br />I gotta get running but I love you all and am so thankful to have you be a part of my life, even if you just read my crazy blogs! I consider that an investment in what I am doing, so thanks!<br /><br />(All donations are tax deductible)<br /><br />Online:<br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Click on the "Donate Now" button<br />3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & what you would like your donation to go towards (ie. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br /><br />Check:<br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction <br />3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" and the area you want your money designated (is. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-1891338164599640772011-04-27T15:54:00.000-07:002011-04-27T17:34:29.849-07:00Seasons of LearningI wanted to start out this blog by taking a picture of my face and posting it, because frankly I'm glowing. But I didn't. Now normally glowing women are associated with two things, pregnancy or becoming a bride. I will go ahead and burst your bubble, neither such things have occurred, one of which is probably a good thing! I am glowing simply because God is good and I am on a series of crazy adventures that are quite frankly rocking my world! I also have had many cups of coffee, so I am going to try and regain composure long enough to type something coherent! Here goes.<br /><br />As you know I am right in the middle of several back-to-back conferences, outreaches, and trainings. Two weeks ago I was in Flat Rock, North Carolina at YWAM's North American Leader's Conference. I was incredibly blessed to be able to catch up with old friends from YWAM bases all over the US and Canada, but also to make new friends and connections. There were also two very renowned speakers that God used to speak to me in tremendous ways. I will get to that in a bit. As I went to the conference to help represent RescueNet, it was awesome just to be able to make connections with bases that have a heart for disaster relief and being God's hands and feet to the world in that arena. I was also able to go to a workshop regarding student mobilization and it was very insightful in regards to mobilizing college students into both short and long-term missions. <br /><br />But I would like to share briefly about some of the things God put on my heart during the conference. One of the speakers talked about the macro aspects of missions and the other talked about the micro aspects. We broached subjects about our nation and our current economic and political standings and how that affects people all over the world hearing about Christ; but we also talked about the individual's story and the power of simply listening and hearing parts of people's lives they may have never shared before. <br /><br />Because this conference was focused on leadership, I was also challenged in many areas of my own heart in that regard. I was convicted deeply about the fact that I am leading people and yet there are several areas of my heart and life that I am walking in blatant sin. Several times during the sessions, it took everything within me to sit in my seat and not run out to have a good cry in the bathroom. One night specifically I felt like God was speaking to my heart and saying, "It's time to stop running now, you need to face these things and deal with them. But don't worry, I am right here." So it was there that He began another painful and stretching work in me that still stings a little because I am taking baby steps as to not be overwhelmed. I could share for hours about this, but I will refrain as I have much more to share on other things!<br /><br />Last week, Paula (a fellow staffer here) and myself took a group of 12-17 year olds to San Francisco on a week outreach. This is the second year this particular church has sent their youth with us to do this and so it was a joy to re-connect with students and leaders that came last year. Last year we only had five students, and this year we had 11, so that in itself was exciting. Lucky for us, YWAM San Francisco is located in a pretty rough part of the city which is great for ministry! It also immediately challenges the students to step outside of their comfort zone. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyBhVm0oGgKKi8N2uBvms0UkCLWkH6Ncam95h7_EiQ0HCPvJS28aagFjU7CJGGQ4bfC3X-c0-L7hgeCB8t8AK1UuvJ5iMCIilDlpzqcVd9SpYuW4Pdwnf7Omuy1GMwnqTcTbQbl03mk7t/s1600/IMG_3422.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyBhVm0oGgKKi8N2uBvms0UkCLWkH6Ncam95h7_EiQ0HCPvJS28aagFjU7CJGGQ4bfC3X-c0-L7hgeCB8t8AK1UuvJ5iMCIilDlpzqcVd9SpYuW4Pdwnf7Omuy1GMwnqTcTbQbl03mk7t/s320/IMG_3422.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600416760178446610" /></a> We focused on homeless and human trafficking ministry doing teachings and discussions about each and then getting out into the city to do some hands on things. The first evening upon their arrival I informed the students that we would be sleeping in our same clothes we had on, not brushing teeth, washing our face, or taking showers until the evening of the next day. We split into smaller groups and headed out into the city with yesterdays clothes on our back and no lunch. Some groups chose to stand in a food line with the homeless and get lunch that way, others chose to go hungry. Our little "homeless for a day" helped them spend a few short hours walking in the shoes of a homeless person, gaining a small perspective on what it's like for them to live this way day in and day out. We also handed out hot chocolate one evening, simply having conversations with the homeless and asking them if they needed prayer for anything. As the base sits in an area where many places for human trafficking sit fronting as "massage" parlors, we were able to go on a prayer walk around to each location and pray right out front. It was powerful but incredibly heavy. I could go on, but again we would be here all day. <br /><br />God's goodness came and Paula and I saw God move in all 11 of their hearts. They learned new things, were stretched beyond what they knew to be comfortable, and walked away with a deeper hunger for God which of course always results in a deeper love for people. Of course it was nothing Paula and I did, we were just along for the ride, learning new things ourselves and blown away by a God that has something so special and unique for each and every one of us.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6T6pmrJCqmi1gFuvc6ElwQbHMFGPMRYZvMcXibeYmwF25gfHZkq6EHy0PTCLacE-O8nLwO70uaveYTSkeR438_TYiCkIOyDcqE3jx0hNjIOqSbDtYesUPyv_ntV8f-tvHu0x3uE-Mf7Z/s1600/IMG_3408.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq6T6pmrJCqmi1gFuvc6ElwQbHMFGPMRYZvMcXibeYmwF25gfHZkq6EHy0PTCLacE-O8nLwO70uaveYTSkeR438_TYiCkIOyDcqE3jx0hNjIOqSbDtYesUPyv_ntV8f-tvHu0x3uE-Mf7Z/s320/IMG_3408.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600417349063261442" /></a> This outreach was so stretching for me because it had been planned months ago and planned to go very differently. But due to things changing at the beginning of this year, I was left thinking that I was not capable to lead this team alone. So luckily Paula volunteered herself, and I dove in, planning to the best of my ability. Of course, I should know by now not to expect anything less from God, but I was being my usual self, very untrusting in my Creator. He of course blew me away and it went better than anything I could have ever planned, simply because I was out of the way. I was desperate for Him to show up, and because I was desperate He did. My ego, plans, and controlling ways were not in the way, because I was desperate. I kind of picture Him sometimes with me in His lap, chuckling in my ear. I think sometimes I hear Him saying, "Oh daughter, if you would just let me do it more often, your life would be so much more exciting, adventuresome, passionate, and life changing than anything you have planned for yourself." All I know is He's right. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAzoagvAEVV8gJEelzKm5FtPjf-F0fmNZ3paElNtkjxAtR4JlgbvKuOTIGLcIff0_ct9P83HBRgerlVo13_C5OXqPeLHwOupLEO6d_A_YIZHD5UgL0TVcLS79SiDFSP3_zVPglBR8qp8BJ/s1600/IMG_3354.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAzoagvAEVV8gJEelzKm5FtPjf-F0fmNZ3paElNtkjxAtR4JlgbvKuOTIGLcIff0_ct9P83HBRgerlVo13_C5OXqPeLHwOupLEO6d_A_YIZHD5UgL0TVcLS79SiDFSP3_zVPglBR8qp8BJ/s320/IMG_3354.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600424001498394082" /></a> I know many of you were lifting up this outreach in prayer, so THANK YOU! Your prayers literally made all the difference in the world!<br /><br />As you know, I am off to Las Vegas on Friday to meet up with all of the North American RescueNet members. We will be bonding, learning, praying, and planning together for all things RescueNet. I will write an update on that when I get home!<br /><br />As I mentioned in my last blog, I am still needing to raise some finances for my EMT school. But the exciting news is that since my last update my Guatemala trip is completely paid for, and my EMT school is half paid for! So again you guys, thanks so much for those of you that gave. I hope your hearts feel tied to mine as I go do these things because I feel tied to you, you really are an incredible support team and I am so blessed by you! <br /><br />Like I said, I still need $1550 to finish paying for my EMT school, would you pray about helping me financially for this? If so you can do the following:<br /><br />(All donations are tax deductible)<br /><br />Online:<br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Click on the "Donate Now" button<br />3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & what you would like your donation to go towards (ie. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br /><br />Check:<br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction <br />3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" and the area you want your money designated (is. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449<br /><br />I wanted to finish out by sharing about something else God has been really stretching me in, forgiveness. In the past few months I have held onto a lot of anger and bitterness because of the things that happened earlier this year. It was in a time of reflection I felt God was bringing up several circumstances that have happened over the past couple of years that I have harbored these same feelings over people. That day my heart was incredibly heavy and I felt like I needed to go and ask a few people for forgiveness. Needless to say, after a little yelling and crying to God, I found myself doing just that, asking for forgiveness. Afterwards I think I was expecting some magical moment to occur where the whole world became right and all things were mended, but of course let's be realistic, my life is not a movie. I drove away disappointed and so I asked God what the purpose of all that was. I felt like He said it was one, for me to lay my unceasing pride to death once again, two, for me to release the other person from being the thing that consumed my thoughts, and three, to close up the foothold I had given the enemy into my life. Can I tell you something a little magical, sshh, it's a secret. Everyday since then, I have felt more free. It's a process, I have realized. Sometimes I have to tell God I need help laying down my anger again, but He always is there for me. I believe I can't walk in the fullness of what He has for me if I am bound in chains of un-forgievness. It's like trying to run through quicksand.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-82237114633840020752011-04-18T12:49:00.000-07:002011-04-18T13:29:32.471-07:00Moments of Forgiveness & RepentanceI am sitting in the YWAM base is San Francisco eagerly awaiting the arrival of the team of students. It is a typical rainy San Francisco day outside and I am reminded of God's goodness and peace in the midst of the chaos that surrounds the bases front door. As I have explained in posts past, the base here sits right in what is known as the Tenderloin district. For those of you that are familiar with this city, I am sure you can picture what I am talking about! To give the others a visual, you may see someone snorting cocaine off the ground, someone using a newspaper stand as a restroom and someone screaming obscenities at the top of their lungs all before the front door of the base has closed behind you. To say the least it is a very spiritually intense atmosphere. All of which leaves a dark sort of oppression hanging in the air. <br /><br />Now I may be a little off kilter, but I find this an extremely incredible place to bring a group of young people. Talk about an eye opening experience to the realities of our world and how desperately the love of Christ needs to be brought to the broken. My goal is that these students leave with a deep desire to love the brokenhearted. <br /><br />Would you be praying for us this week? We will be talking about the heavy topics of human trafficking as well as homeless ministry and we need lots of discernment and direction from God as to the hearts of each and every student. <br /><br />Quickly, in other news, I just got back from Flat Rock, North Carolina where all of the North American YWAM bases gathered for a conference. It was an incredible time of reconnecting with old friends and making some new friends at various bases. We had two incredible speakers that really challenged me in many areas of my own walk with God as well as what it means to be in leadership. <br /><br />I walked away feeling like forgiveness and repentance were huge themes that God was challenging me in. I want to share more about this with you and plan on doing so next week when I am back home from this outreach.<br /><br />Finally, as many of you know I have the opportunity to go to Guatemala with Timberline Church in Colorado in a few weeks. This is a medical outreach that focuses on optometry, dental, and general healthcare. I have been so gracious allowed to not only be hands on with the outreach but also to "shadow" the doctors so that I can gain a better perspective of what it takes to facilitate a medical team overseas. As I have dreams of Project Sixty-One being able to lead medical outreaches in the future, I feel that this will be an incredible learning experience for me! <br /><br />On a financial note, thanks to many of you, I have raised all of my finances for the Guatemala trip except $500. I am also in need of raising another $2750 for my EMT school that is quickly approaching! <br /><br />If you would like to help support me in this way, I have put the directions below:<br /><br />(All donations are tax deductible)<br /><br />Online:<br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Click on the "Donate Now" button<br />3. Follow the directions & under "Specify Donation" put my name (Jacque Gowing) & what you would like your donation to go towards (ie. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br /><br />Check:<br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank to receive a tax deduction <br />3. Attach a sticky note to your check saying "Jacque Gowing" and the area you want your money designated (is. Guatemala Outreach or EMT School)<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449<br /><br />Thank You!!!Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-41690397038640402672011-03-03T23:45:00.001-08:002011-03-03T23:45:20.683-08:00Intimacy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinZ7-z-x0Z02Jf9v30NCw9lIJQnWPGox7YqjRIsuoVQhXeZHVTW-DY-5tNGeSZJA1eqz8BHvatLz2lJqbjqD22OGGYDmbPZNrMQ36iEMqQstG_WBdIJXyzY1JQsWJdwAN5MWEIwNKSxQ6a/s1600/IMG_3259.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinZ7-z-x0Z02Jf9v30NCw9lIJQnWPGox7YqjRIsuoVQhXeZHVTW-DY-5tNGeSZJA1eqz8BHvatLz2lJqbjqD22OGGYDmbPZNrMQ36iEMqQstG_WBdIJXyzY1JQsWJdwAN5MWEIwNKSxQ6a/s400/IMG_3259.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579929016542523058" /></a><br />Being completely honest, I have been putting this update off for weeks. I have been walking through one of the most difficult seasons that I have ever faced. On top of all that, I felt like God was using this circumstance to reveal and cut out some rotten roots that I have let eat at me for years. All that to say, I have been mulling over how to share some of these delicate and intimate struggles that I have been facing. So as usual, this is going to be a long one! Many decisions have been made in the past month that I thought I would never face, but here I am, alive and daily regaining more and more of my identity in Christ. <br /><br />Normally I wouldn't choose to share what I am about to share over a blog because written words often fail to communicate the emotion and depth of the situation, but I feel like it's important so that you can understand where I am coming from. The short and simple version of the story is that Tyler broke up with me in January and also felt it was best to step down from Project Sixty-One. To put it simply, this caused me to need to re-evaluate a lot about myself and a lot about Project Sixty-One as a ministry.<br /><br />Jumping ahead, God began to do something incredible and yet so extremely painful in me that at some points I have been literally crying out to Him to stop because I'm not sure if I can handle it. But I was, and still am, reminded of His grace and sweetness, giving me only what I am able to handle in the moment. Let me back up and say that for the past year I have been asking God to reveal more of His intimacy to me. As God is infinite in character I have always felt a little funny asking Him to reveal aspects of being a Lover to me. I think I had somehow talked myself into believing that it was a little obscene to ask God to be my Lover. As I am writing this, it's hard not to chuckle at myself because by putting up that barrier, I was missing out incredibly. <br /><br />This intimacy with Him has caused me to feel like I am standing in a room full of people without any clothes on! It frankly is uncomfortable, it feels strange, and yet I know it's good because the peace and wholeness that I feel can only come from my Father. As we can relate with human relationships, intimacy causes your real self to be fully present. It is hard to hide behind things when someone knows everything about you. Of course God is God and has and always will know me better than I know myself, but my desire to know Him more has caused what I can only describe as this tangible tension. To put it in silly spiritual terms, I feel like I can actually feel my flesh fighting my spirit. To be honest I hate this because I want my whole heart to be God's. But here I am stuck in this fallen world where second by second I am faced with decisions that often prove me to be selfish, angry, stubborn, and prideful. Thank goodness that God is a God of second, third, and millionth tries! <br /><br />All this warring within my heart and head has brought me to this place of surrender. I have been able to lay down some insecurities, some selfish desires, some mistakes, that I have been struggling with for years. God has shown me that some of my insecurities have made some deep roots. To find these roots I am having to revisit some really painful experiences that have happened years ago and are long over, so I thought. Being the good Lover that He is, God has held me close while I journey back into these dark places. The best part is, with every root I pull out, He replaces it with unconditional love and healing. <br /><br />For the past six weeks I have been basking in God's love. I wish words could paint a better picture of where my heart is at, but I am full of joy that has been lacking in me for a long time. I have truly been able to understand that God doesn't care about how fancy the ministry I am doing is, He doesn't care about all the plans I have made for the year, He doesn't care about how many good deeds I have accomplished today, but what He does care about is me. Plain and simple God just wants to be in constant relationship with me. Of course He gets excited when I move forward in the giftings He has given me and He rejoices when I am able to share Him with others, but ultimately He just wants all of me wanting all of Him. If that is first, everything else works itself out because I have made Him first. I don't have to strive, I don't have to control, I don't have to have all the answers, because if my eyes are on Him that is the best place they can be. He can be in control, which He is far better at than I am anyway. I know this sounds so basic, but this is the first time I feel like I've grasped it. Believe me when I tell you that the joy and freedom I feel are so real to me, I am blown away by my Maker!<br /><br />I have been spending some much needed time re-evaluating why I felt called to come on staff here with YWAM as well as why I felt led to start this Project Sixty-One ministry. I have let God show me the process He took me through to get me to this place and He has begun to show me that He has used all of these painful, heart wrenching experiences to show me His goodness, faithfulness, and love for me. Which brings a whole new light to the verse in Jeremiah that says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future." <br /><br />Although we make lots of plans for ourselves, God often has a way of stepping in and changing every single one of them! So I wanted to share some of the things that have changed. Forgive me as I transition into being a little more factual and informational. <br /><br />As far as Project Sixty-One goes, I feel like God is still calling me to press on with this ministry. This is difficult after losing all the other staff that have been a part of it with me for the past year. But I know that God knows what He is doing, and if there is someone else that He has in mind to come alongside me and help, then He will send that person. So please be praying with me about this! I have been seeking God about the direction of the ministry as well, and feel like He has been showing me that I have limited myself by only doing the things I feel comfortable with. Therefore I am going to start stepping out in areas that I have a heart for but have always thought were too risky or that I was ill equipped to handle. One of these areas would be to lead medically focused outreaches. Of course these would not be in disaster situations, but would be focused on taking both medical professionals and everyday Joe's and setting up small clinics for a week or two. These clinics would focus on optometry, basic wound care, dental, vaccinations, and health teachings about preventing disease. This has been a lifelong dream of mine and so I am really excited to see what happens with it! I have been contacting some churches that I have personal relationships with to see if I can "shadow" them in their missions programs that focus on medical so that I can gain some field experience. As opportunities unfold with this, I will keep you guys posted. <br /><br />My next piece of exciting news is in regards to RescueNet. As you know RescueNet is a ministry of YWAM which is a group of certified disaster relief first responders. I was able to be a part of the training course this past October in San Francisco which was phase one of three phases that I must complete to become a certified member. I am now onto phase two of becoming certified, which means that I will need to help staff the next training course which is this October in Salem, Oregon. The final phase is a deployment to an actual disaster where my skills and overall performance will be evaluated. Upon completion of all of these phases I will be certified! Being a part of RescueNet does not in any way replace or take away from my involvement with YWAM Pismo Beach. It simply is in addition to the work I already do here. <br /><br />As you can see, there is a theme rolling through these things! God has given me a huge heart for missions and medical. Even as a little girl I always wanted to do these things in combination with one another. There is something about helping people in their most desperate situations; I believe it opens doors to share Christ with those that otherwise would be uninterested. It also is a tangible way to cross cultural barriers. It lets me use my hands and my skills to bring healing and love which often speaks louder than words. <br /><br />This leads me to my next adventure! I have been praying about furthering my training in the medical arena so that I am more equipped in disaster relief as well as more equipped to lead medically focused outreaches with Project Sixty-One. I have been researching EMT schools in our local area to see if that would be a possibility. I have found one in San Francisco that is a bootcamp style. This means that what you would normally learn in a semester, you learn in five weeks! It is a highly intensive class that throws you into the material and then gives you hands on scenarios as well as ambulance and emergency room time. Upon passing the class you then take your national registry exam that certifies you in all 50 states! The class begins June 23 and ends August 3, so in the months to come I will be support raising for it as well as keeping you posted! <br /><br />In the near future Project Sixty-One will be leading a team of 12-17 year olds on a outreach to San Francisco. We will be focusing on human trafficking and homeless ministry in the city. I am really excited about the outreach and know that God has some exciting things in store for these young people! Please be praying for this outreach, as I am the only staff member outside of their youth leaders, it is a lot of work to put together and takes a lot of energy to lead!<br /><br />YWAM has a yearly conference for all of the North American bases to get together and worship, learn, and share what has been happening at each of our bases. This year the conference is in Flat Rock, North Carolina and RescueNet is wanting to have members there to share about what we do as a ministry. So I will be attending that and am excited to connect with other bases and learn all that God is doing throughout YWAM in North America!<br /><br />Whew! That is a lot of news and insight into my life! Hopefully not all of it was boring! I wanted to finish with one last story. There is indeed a reason behind why I posted a picture of a rock in my hand! I had the chance to spend a weekend away with God. For those of you that are familiar with California, there is a little town called Mendocino up along the coast north of San Francisco. Lucky for me, there is a beautiful YWAM base there that has lots of cabins on it. As a part of their ministry they rent these cabins out for people to stay in. They have one cabin however, that is meant for prayer and fasting and is free to people who work in ministry, which is an awesome blessing. All this to say I packed up my little Saturn and headed the eight hours up the coast to this beautiful place. <br /><br />There is a beach in this town that is known as Glass Rock Beach. The story behind this place is that several decades ago people dumped a bunch of garbage in the ocean, now I'm not talking about your normal garbage but more like whole entire cars were thrown into the ocean. After all these years of water pounding down on these cars and other huge objects, they have begun to fall apart. So all of this glass and metal is rubbing against each other, and rubbing against sand, and being pounded down by water. When it finally washes to shore, it is smooth and round like rocks. This beach is supposedly full of these rocks, but the bummer thing is that I looked and looked and couldn't find this beach. I was so bummed because I wanted to see this amazing phenomena. So I settled for the closest beach I could find and began trekking through all of these inlets; as the tide kept getting higher and higher, I realized if I didn't make my way back quickly I would soon be swimming! As I was jogging out, something caught my eye. It was this one small rock, clearly glass which edges had been rubbed smooth. I had this simple but awesome picture as soon as I picked it up and I knew that God had to be speaking to me. I felt the impression that the rock was a good representation of my life. Once jagged, sharp, and untouchable, God washed, cleaned, restored, and refined to make something beautiful of me. And for the first time I can say that I see that beauty. For as He promised, He always makes beauty out of ashes.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-46006796858108307172011-01-06T13:49:00.000-08:002011-01-06T13:50:10.857-08:00Refining FireHello from beautiful California,<br /><br />After my Christmas break in Colorado and Minnesota I am finally back home. It was such a blessing to be able to see a few of you but I also find myself wishing that I could have seen many more. Drew, my brother, and I made the drive from Colorado to California on the 2nd and 3rd and although it was slushy in areas, the drive was a success. Thanks for your many prayers for safety over us in those few days!<br /><br />It has been awhile since I have shared some things on my heart with all of you and as my heart is heavy this morning, I thought now was as good as ever.<br /><br />It seems that the New Year is always paired with hopes for new and exciting things to come and resolutions to do things better. But as I look back on years past I see how that excitement begins to fade come February and those resolutions are forgotten. I know that goals are often made to lose weight, be a better person, pay off debt, etc. but what about those unspoken desires and dreams that we may never vocalize. I think of the hidden things that I usually don't say, things like hope that God would refine my character, that I would spend more time seeking His face, that I would love my family and friends less selfishly and with more abandon, and that I would learn what it would mean to be a true servant of a God that chooses to give me life day after day.<br /><br />When we make these types of resolutions in our hearts I think the enemy goes to work to dash our hopes rather quickly. He knows that God desperately wants to be refining us more and more every day, making us more into His likeness. The enemy knows that the more we become like Christ, the harder he has to fight to destroy us. <br /><br />I have been carrying a feeling of heaviness lately, that feeling that I am all alone and isolated. I know that these feelings don't come from the God who loves me with abandonment. They come from another source all together, one that longs to destroy my life. It seems like it's in these moments that I have lost all my energy to stand strong and fight. I would rather curl up in defeat than surround myself with the Word and prayer. But I know that is not what God is calling me to, He has equipped me with the armor, He has given me authority over evil, and when I am too tired to fight, He is fighting on my behalf. Recently I saw the third Chronicles of Narnia movie. At the end Lucy gives Aslan a huge embrace and she learns that although she won't return to Narnia, that Aslan is known by another name in her world. The reason she came to Narnia in the first place was so that she would "know" Him. I love this picture, to not just know about God but to "know" God deeply. <br /><br />I think that when we pick ourselves up from whatever struggle we are facing and stand firm against the enemy, God simply takes care of us, because He has already conquered death. I think after each "battle" we walk through, big or small, we learn what it means to "know" God more intimately. He will replace our sorrows with joy and our mourning with gladness, I know this because He promised. <br /><br />If I look at the New Year with this in mind, I know that through Him all things are possible.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-79989290535350496242010-12-28T14:47:00.000-08:002010-12-28T17:49:56.927-08:00Merry Christmas & Happy New YearHello From the Great White North,<br /><br />I am sitting in Tyler's family's home in Minnesota. We are all cozied up inside while the waves of Lake Superior splash up on the shore. It sure is beautiful here and I feel blessed to have been able to spend Christmas with both Tyler and I's families. <br /><br />I feel the need to apologize for not writing an update in a couple of months, it has been a crazy time of moving, selling my car, buying a new car, my car getting hit, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, traveling, and family in between. So all that to say you may want to grab a cup of coffee and get comfortable cause you may be here for awhile!<br /><br />As many of you know, this past October Tyler and I headed up to San Francisco for a YWAM disaster relief training school called RescueNet. This is a first responder YWAM team that is trained in medical, search and rescue, fire suppression, and trauma counseling. RescueNet is usually on the ground within 24-48 hours after a major scale disaster hits. <br /><br />There are three steps to become certified under RescueNet. The first is that you must take the training school and pass. Tyler and I spent two weeks in San Fran participating in this course, learning all of the above topics and doing lots of scenarios to practice our new skills! We both passed the course taking us to step number two which is helping to teach the same course. We will be completing this step of our certification in October of 2011 in Salem, Oregon. The third step is to go on a deployment with the other certified RescueNet members. If I complete all of those things to the proper satisfaction then I will become certified under RescueNet and will be able to be a first responder on any disaster that RescueNet goes to. Participating in RescueNet will not replace my existing commitment with YWAM Pismo Beach but will be in addition to me being on staff there. <br /><br />I was blessed with a new, to me, car thanks to my Grandma in November. My Dad helped me by purchasing the new car in Colorado. So I came out during my Thanksgiving break to bring my car home. While I was here, the car was hit in a parking lot when no one was around to see who was responsible. So I had to pay for a new bumper and rear quarter panel to fix it, luckily my Dad is quite the handyman and did all of the work himself, it turned out beautifully. Thanks Dad! I am driving the new car home in a few days, please be praying for good weather, safe driving, and no car problems as I drive home.<br /><br />There are many things in store for the coming year and I am very excited to see all that God has in store! We have had quite a few teams interested in doing a Project Sixty-One outreach with us this coming summer. We also have had two teams sign up for April outreaches, one youth group wanting to do a San Francisco outreach, and the other, a church wanting to build a duplex in Haiti near Easter. <br /><br />I will also be busy this year heading up the administration and fundraising and advertising departments for our base. I am responsible for buying all of our office supplies and decorating our office. I am also responsible for helping think up our base fundraising and advertising events for the year and then seeing them through. <br /><br />I am also working on support raising these next few months, I have lost quite a few supporters this year due to the economy and other various circumstances. Please be praying that the Lord would provide for me in this area. <br /><br />Wow! That was a lot of information in one go! Hopefully it all makes sense, but I would love to hear from each of you if you have any prayer requests or updates on your life. Talk to you again soon!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />JacqueJacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-58846720479888884492010-11-09T13:09:00.000-08:002010-11-09T14:29:38.411-08:00I'm Moving!!!Hello Family & Friends,<br /><br />I wanted to send out an emergency update to you regarding my finances. I will make this short and sweet and if you have any questions please feel free to call or email me at 970.310.0971 or Jacquelyngowing@gmail.com. <br /><br />I am renting a house with three other girls that are also on staff here at YWAM. One of the girls recently left staff and so the three of us remaining have been under the burden of carrying an extra portion of rent. After praying for a few weeks we have felt that it is time to move. We have had a hard time house hunting because the two girls are from Sweden and England and so they have no credit history. Also because we are all young, landlords and rental companies have assumed that we could be the parting type that is irresponsible. <br /><br />Basically it has all come down to one house, we are going to see it for the second time tomorrow and are really praying that God will speak to us if it is the right place to move. Would you please be praying for grace from the landlord. Pray that they are willing to have us there regardless of the fact that only one of us has credit history. Pray that they see past our age and are able to see our hearts and desire to treat the house with respect.<br /><br />I also am in need of finances for the move. I have been in a really tight spot lately after losing several more of my monthly supporters and so all of the moving expenses are coming rather untimely. But good thing we serve a God bigger than money and landlords! I am in need of $500 for my part of the deposit and another $425 for the first month of rent. We are needing to move by November 30th so I am praying that this money will come in in the next week or two. <br /><br />Would you please partner with me in prayer for this. And if it is on your heart to help me meet this goal financially that would be an incredible answer to prayer!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">If you would like to donate by check:</span><br /><br />1. Make your check payable to YWAM Pismo Beach<br />2. Leave the memo line blank for a tax deduction <br />3. Attach a sticky note to the check that says "Jacque Gowing"<br />4. Mail your check to:<br />YWAM Pismo Beach<br />791 Price St. #119<br />Pismo Beach, CA. 93449<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">If you would like to donate online:</span><br /><br />1. Go to www.ywampismobeach.org/donate.html<br />2. Follow the directions and under "Specify Donation" put "Jacque Gowing"<br /><br />I will let you guys know the progress of everything. Thank you in advance for your prayers and financial help, it truly is a huge blessing!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />JacqueJacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-68865846792193873312010-09-16T14:05:00.000-07:002010-09-16T14:27:13.681-07:00Year of JubileeI just recently got home from spending a few weeks in Ensenada & Tijuana, Mexico with the rest of the staff. Every other year we close down the base for a week and go on a staff outreach together. So this year we packed our bags and headed to Ensenada! We stayed at the YWAM base there and had a great time catching up with old YWAM friends, bonding as a staff, and loving on the people of Mexico.<br /><br />God opened the doors for us to be able to head out to the red light district and talk with the men that go there night after night to get drunk and do drugs. We also got to spend a day at a women's rehab center painting, playing games with their children, and speaking to the women about God's love. We also spent several days helping YWAM Tijuana prep for YWAM's 50th year Jubilee conference.<br /><br />It was an incredible trip and God really spoke to many of us and helped to give us more vision for our base for years to come.<br /><br />This year YWAM is celebrating it's 50th year of existence. The founders, Loren and Darlene Cunningham, are in their 70's and are still working full force to see YWAM continue to be cutting edge and bringing God to as many as possible.<br /><br />The very DNA of YWAM is incredible. I was so blessed to be able to spend time hearing stories of God's goodness over the past 50 years and how He has provided things so incredible that it is hard to explain. It was also amazing to see the vision that God has for this mission in the future. I walked away blessed knowing that God has given YWAM so much favor and influence and yet the humility of every base is almost tangible. <br /><br />For me this time away was very refreshing and God has birthed some fresh vision in me for the future of my time here with YWAM and for Project Sixty-One as a ministry. I am excited to see where He leads me in this vision and excited to share it with all of you as things begin to unfold and develop!Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-36082825542001018082010-09-16T13:58:00.001-07:002010-09-16T13:58:46.004-07:00New BeginningsThis season has been one of the most difficult and yet one of the most amazing. I have experienced God and His intimacy in far greater ways than I ever have. I have been stretched to the point of breaking, but God has been there every step of the way shaping and refining my character. I have clung hard to Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back from captivity.'" I feel that God has brought me out of captivity, captivity being my selfishness, my pride, thinking that I have certain rights, my desire to have control over so many areas of my life, and the list goes on.<br /><br />In this time that my heart has been so broken I have had to be so desperate for Him. I had to make a choice between choosing life and choosing death. And in this decision making process I realized that for so long I had been choosing death. I was conforming to the patterns of the world, telling God that I had things under control, that I could do things better, that my ways were higher. But in one moment where I felt that I had lost the thing that meant the most to me, I had a choice. God spoke so tenderly to me in that moment and told me that He was the God who created the mountains, the one that set the boundaries to the oceans, the one that commands the sky to open up and rain, the one that made the birds that fly and the lion majestic in his strength and power, the one who made me in my intricate design, the one that commands my lungs to continue breathing, the one that spoke my very life into existence and knows my days before they even happen. For the first time I understood what it means to fear the Lord. Not in the judgement or hell sense, but fear the being that holds me and you and the world in place, I caught a glimpse of His greatness, a glimpse of His majesty. I realized that if this God can love me despite my flaws and imperfections, than this God can also heal my broken heart. This God knows the rest of my days and has a plan and a purpose for them. <br /><br />Why is it that the choice to hand my life back to Him, the life that was never mine to control in the first place, is a choice I am having to constantly make? I think it's hard because it means admitting that we need God so desperately, it means admitting that we have no real control over any circumstance in our lives, it means having incredible faith in an unseen God. If truly choosing God was a walk in the park, we wouldn't pursue any sort of love relationship with Him. We wouldn't understand our need for Him. <br /><br />I have had to learn daily what it means to die to myself. Sometimes I feel prompted to ask God even about the ridiculous things like where I should eat lunch today. Now I know that God probably doesn't care all that much about where I eat lunch, but the fact that I am pursuing Him even in the small things is so pleasing to Him. I have come to this place that my hunger and need for Him is desperate, like a small child needs a parent. I have lived so much of my life thinking that I know better, but what if I were to let the God of the Universe direct my life? I can say with confidence that He has more in store for me than I ever could for myself. <br /><br />If you have a few moments read Job chapters 38-42. Here we see God explain His majesty, He lets us know that we should revere Him. When I need a reminder that I am not the center of the universe I often read these chapters. At the same time I gain a whole new perspective of God's intimate love. Because knowing that the God that created the mountains and the seas is one thing, but believing that He did and believing that it is that same God that loves us deeply is something totally different. Know that He loves you today and that the King of Kings has a hope and a future for you.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-4609115685845866422010-07-24T09:07:00.000-07:002010-07-24T15:23:38.077-07:00Prayer RequestHello Dear Friends,<br /><br />I wanted to take a brief moment and update you on some recent news that has been very difficult for me. So please bear with me as this may come out rather jumbled. Before I begin I wanted to let you know the reason why I am choosing to share this with you is because I consider you guys to be like my family. I share a lot with you because you are important to me and so I want you to be a part of all aspects of my life.<br /><br />About a week ago Tyler and I broke up. I wanted to share briefly with you the reasons behind this decision so that you can be lifting both of us up in prayer. God had been speaking to Tyler about our relationship and how we were relying on each other heavily for things like comfort, healing, acceptance, basically all the things that we should be seeking God to fulfill. We were replacing God with each other. Although God was speaking these things to him specifically I was also having some red flags come up. I began to realize the pressure we were putting on each other to fix some of the past struggles both of us have faced. Both of us ignored these things hoping that we could work through them and move on with our relationship. But God continued to lay them on Tyler's heart. He came to me about a week ago and shared them with me feeling like God was asking us to set our relationship aside and focus hard on Him letting Him be the one to fulfill our hearts and heal our hurts. This was an extremely hard decision and has been painfully difficult for both of us. But we are choosing to trust that God is good and knows what is best for us. He has our futures, hopes, and dreams in mind and although we don't know what the future holds, He does. So we are trusting in Him for our futures and are willing to do whatever he asks of us. <br /><br />As far as Project Sixty-One goes, I believe for now that we both feel like it is the ministry God has called both of us to. Therefore we will continue to work together as friends until we feel God calls one or both of us on to something different. If you could be praying that this transition in our relationship goes smoothly and that we are able to truly seek God with all of our hearts during this season I would really appreciate it. <br /><br />I am always amazed how even in the hardest moments of life I still feel the strength of God's presence. He truly is deeply in love with us, even in our tremendous imperfections.Jacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-781042697709210726.post-29694766756191766482010-07-12T14:44:00.001-07:002010-07-12T15:25:08.255-07:00Life, Haiti, & Everything In BetweenHello Friends,<br /><br />Well I hope you can forgive me because this blog post has been long overdue. Because of that I have a lot to say, so maybe pour yourself a cup of coffee because you may be here for awhile!<br /><br />As many of you know my Grandpa Ray passed away in April. God provided a very cheap flight and I was able to go home for a week and spend time with him in his last days. I miss him dearly but I know he is with Jesus and who could ask to be in a better place. I know he was always proud of our family and how we loved God and others, but I think he would be even more impressed with us now as I feel the loss of him has brought us even closer together. It's funny how when someone passes you realize the true fragility of life. You understand that God is complete and utter control and as hard as we may try to fight the fact that our days are numbered, they are. I have been encouraged through all of this that I should give God thanks for every single day and make the most out of them. I know this sounds cliche, but truly every day is a gift. I hope that everyday I push myself more and more to be brave, share Christ's love, love those around me with reckless abandonment, and live a life with full of integrity and character that is pleasing to my Father. <br /><br />On May 16 Tyler and I departed to Los Angeles to meet our first Project Sixty-One overseas outreach team. We only had a day of orientation and then jetted off to Haiti to get started. Our team of six was eager to jump into ministry and we did just that the following day. We spent our first week in Port-au-Prince, which is the capitol city and the location of the earthquake. The YWAM base there is just getting off the ground so they are renting out a building on an orphanage property. Many of the children at this orphanage are mentally or physically handicapped and often do not get adopted because of this. We enjoyed spending our free time playing basketball, soccer, and drawing with sidewalk chalk with the kids. <br /><br />In Port-au-Prince we were able to help tear down a fallen church building, distribute buckets of food to tent/refugee cities, be a part of a huge worship service in a tent city of 11,000 people, and bless the base staff by helping clean, wash base vehicles, etc. <br /><br />Our second week in Haiti we moved 60 miles north to a city called St. Marc, which is where Tyler, Will, and I stayed when we went to Haiti in January. This base has been running for over 20 years and has a huge presence in St. Marc and the surrounding cities. God has given them a ton of favor and responsibility since the earthquake hit and it is always a joy to see them taking huge leaps of faith and trusting God to move in this broken and hurting land. <br /><br />In St. Marc we were able to bless the base by picking up trash and raking around the compound, spending an afternoon building relationships and loving on some of the local Haitian prostitutes, teaching short health seminars (hand washing, teeth brushing, food cleaning, etc.), teaching English, and helping a DTS team finish a house build. <br /><br />Although Tyler and I were very excited to be back in Haiti doing ministry and catching up with the friends we made the last time, we were also very eager to see the things that God had in store for the team. Our whole vision of this Project Sixty-One ministry is that God would transform the lives of the team members; impacting their hearts for the Nations long-term and exposing more of His heart and love for them as individuals in the process. The most joyful part of the whole outreach was to see Him do just that. After it was all said and done we had one individual show interest in joining the long-term staff of YWAM Haiti and others who walked away feeling that God had spoke more to them about their futures and dreams. Overall it was a very eye opening experience for everyone, including Tyler and I, as it always is to be overseas and completely out of everything comfortable.<br /><br />Although this first overseas outreach was no where near perfect, we learned more than we ever would have been able to than if it had been. I feel like God shed light to me in many ways that I can improve in areas of leadership. I feel like I have a better understanding of the grace, patience, compassion, servant leadership, and firmness that it often takes to make a good leader. I feel there will be always room to grow in all these areas. <br /><br />As for the remainder of 2010, we have hit a few bumps in the road regarding some of the outreaches we had planned. We had to cancel our Thailand and September Haiti outreaches due to a lack of people signed up to go. We are bummed about not being able to go but know that God is in control. We are however still leading a local church to Haiti in November to build a house for a family in need which we are very excited about! <br /><br />In other Project Sixty-One news, we have gained a third staff member. Paulina Gudmundsson, who is from Sweden. She did her DTS along with me in 2008 and joined staff at the same time as well. She has staffed two DTS schools and felt like God was calling her to join Tyler and I with Project Sixty-One. We are really excited to have her on board!<br /><br />I wanted to share with you about an exciting school that I get to be a part of in October! YWAM has a ministry called RescueNet which is a disaster relief ministry. They are recognized by the United Nations and are often able to get into a country faster than the Red Cross in a disaster situation. RescueNet offers schools to YWAMer's to get training in their program so that if a disaster hits we have 24 hours to pray about whether we feel God is calling us to go and help and then another 24 hours to get to the country. Therefore, YWAMer's from all over the world will fly into that country and form a disaster relief team that will stay and help for a week or two. This school will equip me in search and rescue, emergency medicine, trauma counseling, fire suppression, and refugee reception. Tyler and I both felt the need to have more training after experiencing the disaster in Haiti. This school is only for two weeks and is part one of several parts to officially be certified under RescueNet. The dates of the school are October 10-23 and will be held in San Francisco. <br /><br />Being certified under RescueNet will not replace anything we are doing with Project Sixty-One. We will continue to run that ministry full time and continue to lead teams overseas. If a disaster hits, this will be something Tyler and I choose to do as individuals with the RescueNet team. Both of us have always had huge hearts to help those who are in their greatest need, we have found that when people are the most vulnerable they are also the most open to hear and believe that Jesus loves them deeply and wants a relationship with them. We are excited to see where God takes us with this schooling!<br /><br />The school costs $625 for books, fees, supplies, room & board, and transportation that I need to raise. If you would be willing to donate financially to help me cover this cost I would really appreciate it! You can donate online through PayPal or by mail. Please email me at Jacque17lyn@aol.com for directions as to how to donate. <br /><br />In other financial news I am still struggling with raising my monthly support. I currently have $1620.00 per month and am needing to raise it to $2819.25 per month to meet all of my monthly expenses and be able to put some money into savings for car repairs, medical, and outreach costs. If you could be praying with me that God would bring people to mind that I could ask to partner with me monthly and that God would continue to provide for this need I would really appreciate it!<br /><br />I believe that is about all that is new here on my end! I hope you are doing well. If you have any prayer requests or thoughts please feel free to email me!<br /><br />God Bless,<br />JacqueJacquelyn Gowinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17471894959067666274noreply@blogger.com0