I have a lot to tell you, but I wanted to start by sharing some things God has been doing in my life these past few weeks. I believe that God often takes us through seasons in our relationship with Him, some very joyful and some that feel really hopeless. I am talking about those times when you feel like you have hit rock bottom spiritually. Those times when you are so desperately searching for God’s presence, but can’t seem to find it anywhere. Those hours that you spend angry, hurt, wondering why it is that you feel so abandoned by the One who promised to never abandon us. That is where I have been the past few weeks, and I have had some words spoken to me and things revealed that I would like to pass along to you.

The first is something that I personally struggle with a lot; that is trying to take control of every thing, everybody, and every situation. Sometimes this cancerous sin gets the better of me and I find myself lost in it. I forget to put my trust in the One who is far better at seeing the future and really outdoes me in the whole provision thing. So of course, if I am choosing to make my relationship with God all about me, then it is bound to lose some of its intimacy. I am bound to feel abandoned, lonely, and angry because I am not really able to provide for myself like God can.

When we are weak He is strong. I am often reminded of Moses and his speech impediment, and the disciples just mere fishermen, uneducated and some very young. Sometimes I feel a little like David, I come before the Lord whining way more often than I go to Him in reverence of who He is. But it is in these times of our human weakness that God often does huge things because then He gets the glory. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I don’t really have an answer as to why these seasons happen, but I do have a hunch, it is in the hard seasons that it is all about making choices. Do I choose to throw in the towel, move on, or do I seek deeper, do I cry out more, do I admit that I need God so desperately. I think that when we come out on the other side of the valley, we have learned things, let some of our flesh die so that we can be more like Christ, we come out more refined by the fire. I know that I have come too far to quit now; I desire to look more like a diamond than I do a lump of coal.

I have been reading a book called “The Emotionally Healthy Church” by Peter Scazzero (I highly recommend this by the way)! There is a quote in there based off of 2 Cor. 5:21 it says, “The Gospel says that you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet you are more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope because Jesus lived and died in your place. A great exchange takes place when we place our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. ‘God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him, we might become the righteousness of God.’”

On another note I have officially moved into a new place! Yey! Because we gained a fourth roommate we were in need of finding a new place, so we began the tedious process of looking and managed to find “the one” only on our second day of showings! God’s hand was all over the whole thing because the landlord normally only lets two tenants live here, but changed his mind for us, also choosing not to raise the rent! I will be making a video soon so that you can have the grand tour of the place and get an idea of what everything looks like, make sure to check it out on Facebook.

I am not sure if I mentioned this in the last update, but my ministry has a name! It is called Project 61, based off of Isaiah 61. Things are slowly progressing, I am learning the number of hours it takes to create a website as well as trying to be more aware of advertising tactics so that I can distribute information as most effectively as possible to the community and other areas regarding Project 61. Your continued prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated; I am always in need of more guidance and wisdom from the Lord regarding my next steps forward.

Well that is all for now; please email me if you have any questions, comments, or prayer requests. I appreciate all of you!

God Bless,

Jacque

Trusting in Him

    Trust. Something much easier said than done. It has donned on me recently that trust is something rather intimate, it means that you are willing to give others the control to build you up or tear you down. It means that you are willing to abide in that person, willing to follow them in decision making, and put faith in them. 

    When I really think through this I realize that I do not easily trust, I am afraid to let the walls fall down, I am afraid to get hurt. God has been challenging me a lot in this area, He is my Creator, He knows my deepest most intimate thoughts and desires, He knows my triumphs and failures, my fears, my hurts, and yet He is the one I so often am most afraid to trust. I am afraid to trust the Creator of the universe, that has named the stars in the sky, and knows the number of hairs on my head, He who spoke the very world into creation. In the grand scheme of it all I am truly nothing and He is truly everything, and yet He calls me His beloved, I am His treasured one. So why is it so hard for me to hand over my trust to the one who spoke me into existence and has my very best interest in mind? 

   I do know one thing. The times that I have been able to lay down everything, giving all things back to God that rightly belong to Him anyway, I am set free in a way that is hard to comprehend or describe. I think we, as Americans, often feel we are entitled to so much. I often catch myself complaining about things that take too long, or whining because I can't afford that new thing that I want but don't actually need. But when I really think about it, what is mine? Nothing is truly mine, not my money, not my job, not my house or car, or even my own life. All those things have been given to me by God and He can give me more or take it all away in the blink of an eye. But here is the key, God is good, He is so deeply in love with us, and has only our best interest in mind. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

   God yearns for us to go to Him in all circumstances large or small. He wants to show us that He truly is our Jehovah Jireh, our provider. My current living circumstances are a testimony to His provision. I rely on Him to provide my finances through amazing people like yourselves. But I am daily learning to trust even still, because so often I want control, so often I strive to have control over my relationships, my work, my things. When really, none of those things are mine anyway, He has given them to me to steward and ultimately to bring honor to Him. 

   All this to say, Jesus wants us to lean hard on Him, He wants us to desire His provision in every circumstance, He wants to give us His best (which believe me, is much better than anything I could ever imagine)!